Waiting For Dessert

Not saying girl

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It really was a bizarre situation to be in. He was surrounded by roses, and couldn't seem to make up his mind about which flower he preferred. He wanted to pick the very nicest one for his girlfriend, lovely Romy of the sparkling emerald green eyes and molten chocolate tresses, sensuously shaped lips and perfectly arched eyebrows, but he couldn't seem to make up his mind. Nathan picked rose after rose, red ones, pink ones, white ones and yellow ones, in a field that stretched out as far as the eye could see. He was getting discouraged and considering putting together a bouquet instead, when out of nowhere, an enormous bee appeared. It buzzed around him, loudly, darting back and forth as he swatted at it, afraid, dropping all the roses he'd picked onto the ground.

He tried to run away, but the monstrous insect pursued him, buzzing angrily.

Bzzzz... Bzzzzzzz... Bzzzzzzzzzz....

The phone rang precisely nine times before Nathan picked up.


"Did I wake you, hon?"

A pause, followed by a groan, was heard before Nathan sighed out a tired-sounding "Yessss... Knew it was going to be you somehow; was dreaming 'bout you... Wha-... What time is it?"

"Aww, you were having nightmares about me - that's so sweet, Nate. It's ten o'clock, sleepyhead, so you shouldn't still be in bed anyway. And I'm waking you up for a good reason. Or maybe two."

His head was still so full of sleepy fog that he barely understood her rapid chatter.


"Wake up - this is important."

This caught Nathan's attention, and he rubbed at his eyes with a balled fist as he prepared to hear Romy's announcement.

"Okay, I'm awake, you got me. What's so important?"

"Well, first of all," the throaty voice at the other end cooed in his ear, "happy Valentine's Day."

Nathan's almond-brown eyes widened. "Oh, yeah, that's right - I'd completely forgotten. Happy Valentine's Day to you too, Romy!"

"Thank you, you romantic soul you. Now listen - I think my second revelation is going to get you even more excited."

Nathan was all ears, and told Romy so.

"Well, you're going to love this. I caught a cold yesterday, and this morning, I'm sneezing like a mad thing, every two minutes it feels like, and sometimes more than that."

"You're kidding!"

"No, I'm definitely not. In fact, hold on-"

Nathan pressed his ear to the receiver as he heard Romy fumble on the other end, clearly covering the mouthpiece at her end with her hand. From far away, he distinctly heard a sneeze, a muffled, "ssheeww!" that sounded simply wonderful.

Then, he heard the hand move as Romy once again brought the telephone to her ear.

"Bless you. You know, I wish you wouldn't do that," he told her wistfully.

"Sorry - it's a bad habit I'm still trying to get rid of."

Both of them laughed; Romy did so delightedly, Nathan a tad shyly.

They had been dating for about half a year now, and it had taken all of Nathan's will power to muster up the courage to tell Romy about his odd little quirk, a fetish for sneezing, which he'd never previously revealed to any other lover. Romy had thought he was poking fun at first, but had subsequently been amused and amazed that something so simple and natural could make Nathan's libido soar. She'd concluded that this secret part of him, this unusual turn-on, was something both interesting and charming, and she'd made a special effort ever since to alert Nathan when she had to sneeze in his presence so that he could fully enjoy the view.

Unfortunately, Romy wasn't much of a sneezer at the best of times. There had been that one memorable evening, when she'd come over for cocktails at Nathan's before they went out, when they'd discovered she was allergic to the aftershave he'd been sporting. At that point though, he'd not been "out" to her and thus this interesting reaction had only led to Nathan's taking a (cold) shower to wash it off and changing his clothing before they'd set out into the night. 

This incident aside, Nathan had never witnessed any other allergies on Romy's behalf. He also knew that she wasn't particularly prone to catching colds, which was a shame because it was the latter that got Nathan going most of all. Sneezes were exciting in and of themselves, but coupled with a reddened, runny nose and a temporary weakness, they were incredibly arousing.

Asides for this, Romy sneezed maybe once or twice a day, usually in the morning before seeing Nathan, and wasn't affected by bright lights the way some people were. Ever since Nathan had shared his secret, though they hadn't really talked all that much about it, both he and Romy had wanted to experiment with sneezing... but they never really had gotten around to it.

Now, ironically on Valentine's Day, she'd caught a head cold for the first time all winter. It was an otherwise miserable affair that had her nose running and her head feeling cloudy, but it did have her sneezing often, and that could lead to very interesting results once she made her way over to Nathan's flat.

"So I guess what I really called to ask was whether you wanted germ-ridden, sneezy lil' ol' me to make my way over to yours for lunch, and maybe spend the afternoon together... perhaps doing interesting Valentine's Day activities only couples are supposed to do, and not usually before marriage?"

Nathan felt a smile blossoming on his thin lips as a reply to that which he heard in Romy's voice. "Would I? Honey, do you even need to ask? Hurry on up and get over here - I'm getting dressed right now!"

"No need," she chuckled, vixen-like. "I'll be over around twelve, and I'm bringing lunch. Being the cook you are, I figure I ought to be the one to provide a proper meal for this supposedly romantic day. I'm not really in the mood for chips."

Nathan smiled wryly, knowing he was about as far from being a cordon bleu chef as was humanly possible to imagine. He ran the hand that wasn't holding the receiver through his tousled chestnut locks, a gesture that was second nature whenever somebody made a justified jibe at him.

"That might be a good idea, yeah. But don't go to too much trouble if you're ill, mind," he added, his voice suddenly sounding concerned.

Just as he was saying that, he heard her sneeze again, another "essheww!" sound that was muffled by a hand hastily placed over the receiver.

He'd never seen Romy with a cold; his normally vivacious girlfriend, who positively radiated good health every time he saw her, did sound a little bit different. Her voice was a trifle hoarse, more delicate than that he was used to hearing, when he listened closely. What would she be like; as strong and assertive as she usually was, or would she enjoy letting herself be cuddled and taken care of instead of being woman-on-top for once?

He didn't have time to bless her before she began to talk again.

"No trouble at all. I'll just stop in at the cash & carry or something, and pick up some ready-made goodies for us," came her laughing reply. "For once, I don't feel like cooking either. Isn't it great what a little bit of money can take care of when you need it to?"

"Or what boyfriends can take care of, when sick girlfriends need them to," Nathan added, hoping Romy would perceive this as being tongue-in-cheek even if it really wasn't.

"Yeah, yeah, boyfriends also have a few uses, I reckon. Right, so I'll be at yours around twelve. Don't go back to sleep, you!"

"I won't," Nathan promised, thinking there was no way he could possibly shut his eyes again after Romy's almost open promise of an afternoon of unconventional, sneeze-filled lust. "I'll get the flat ready... or something."

"Don't do 'or something' too much, or you'll go blind. Plus, I never did fancy men with hairy palms," Romy teased.

"You know I didn't mean that! You-... Did I ever tell you you're impossible?" Nathan groaned, laughing in spite of himself. "Right. I'll see you later, love."

"Take care and see you soon," came Romy's cheerful reply.

Just before the line shut and a buzzing tone filled his ear, Nathan thought he heard the beginnings of another sneeze, a gasping "eeeh-" which was bluntly cut off. His fingers tightened around the receiver, but it was too late. If Romy really had been about to sneeze, she had decided to tease him with it and leave him hanging, perhaps even in order to provide fodder for his active imagination as he awaited her arrival.


The buzzer rang, making Nathan jump despite the fact that he'd been eagerly anticipating Romy's arrival. He hastily made his way to the door and opened it, revealing a smiling Romy who held a filled bag from Sainsbury's in each hand.

"Happy Valentine's Day, love," she cried, moving close to hug him in spite of the bags.

"Happy Valentine's Day, Romy," Nathan said, kissing her forehead affectionately. "Wow, you've brought us enough food to last for a week!"

"I probably did, I guess, but there were just too many yummy looking things," she replied, letting go and making her way past him to get inside the flat.

They made their way to the kitchen, where Romy deposited her purchases on the countertop. As she detailed the contents of the bag, he couldn't help admiring her, the graceful way in which she moved and the unconsciously sensual tilt of her head. Her slender hands were gesturing animatedly as she chattered away like an excited little girl, and suddenly, he was already feeling stirrings of arousal.

"Let's see... I've brought us some sparkling water, a bottle of red wine - because it's more romantic -, some crusty bread, two kinds of ready-made salad, these little hors d'oeuvres things I thought looked really excellent, a chicken we only have to heat in the oven..."

Romy paused, looking at the ground for a moment, and then her head tilted slightly back as her features scrunched delicately up. She raised a hand, cupping it in front of her mouth, just as she let out a pleasant-sounding, "etch-wheww!" that ended on a high pitched note.

She blinked as if surprised and rubbed at her nose, before adding, "And for dessert, you get your pick of Tiramisu, or this adorably kitsh heart-shaped chocolate cake!"

Nathan smiled. "I can think of something else I'd rather have for dessert..."

"Tsk tsk," Romy swatted at him playfully. "What a one track mind you have, sweetness."

Nathan resisted the urge to apologize.

"Now help me unpack all this."


Lunch had been fantastic, a proper feast with wonderfully little work involved, and both Nathan and Romy were in that borderline state between satisfaction and discomfort brought on by a too-full stomach.

"How about if we wait a while before dessert?" Nathan suggested, rubbing indolently at his middle with one hand.

In truth, Romy had been sneezing periodically throughout their lengthy lunch, and it was driving him up the wall. The little vixen knew it, too, and always cast him a triumphant look whenever she was recovering from an explosion. She didn't say anything, though, and Nathan was determined that he wouldn't make a move until she decided the timing was right. He had wondered fleetingly several times during the meal whether she knew just how exciting this was for him, and how hard it was to keep his voice from losing an octave in the wake of a particularly awe-inspiring sneeze. Not to mention how grateful he was for the fact that the tabletop offered convenient shelter from Romy's usually eagle-accurate gaze when it came to gauging Nathan's involuntary physical reaction to interesting stimuli... like sneezes.

This was part of the reason why he decided to suggest putting off dessert... Should Romy indeed make good on her promise of sneezy intercourse, he didn't want to feel so full up that he couldn't properly enjoy it. He could feel that just a few more bites of food would make him feel lethargic, and this was the last thing he wanted to happen. If, of course, interesting events were to unfold. And the way Romy kept teasing him with her encroaching cold and delicious sneezing, he was pretty sure they would.

"Great idea," Romy replied. "I'm feeling quite stuffed myself."

"Does your stomach hurt?" Nathan inquired with a smile.

"Maybe a little..."

"Shall I kiss it and make it better?"

Romy rolled her eyes, but stood up nonetheless. They had been playing this "kiss and make it better" game ever since they'd started going out.

Definitely wishing to help things along in the "touchy-feely department", Nathan got up off his own chair and stood side Romy side, putting his arms around her waist to gently lift her top up to just above her navel. He leaned down to kiss her tummy, and at the precise moment where his lips connected with the warm softness of his girlfriend's skin, he felt her tense. No sooner had he finished giving her smooth flesh a loving peck, his nose was driven into her bellybutton as she pushed forward with the force of a sneeze that came without warning, startling them both.

"Eh-sheww!... Oh my, sorry Nathan. You okay?"

Nathan got up again and laughed, surprised. "Interesting timing, love, bless you. I'm fine, yeah, couldn't be better, but now I'm thinking there's another part of you that could use some kissing to be made better!"

Romy sniffed sharply and gave him a suspicious look. "And that would be?"

Nathan shifted so that he faced Romy, cupping the base of her neck with his capable hands. Romy smiled and closed her eyes, leaning her head back as her lips parted, but was surprised when Nathan's lips unexpectedly landed on the tip of her nose, delivering a soft, loving kiss.

"Oh! That part!" she exclaimed, startled.

And then, the shape of her lips began to change as she felt the light tingle in her nose brought on by Nathan's kiss begin to expand slowly but surely into the urge to sneeze again thanks to the hypersensitivity brought on by her budding cold.

Nathan didn't miss a single detail in Romy's shift. He watched her carefully as her expression went from startled to intent, her eyes narrowing and her nostrils (already pink from all the sneezing she'd been doing so far today) began to flare ever so slowly, wider and wider. Her lips remained parted as her breathing became shallow and she tilted her head back in preparation.

"Nate, I'm about to-... toeh-... heh-esheew!" And then, a moment later, the whole cycle was repeated as Romy let loose with another, stronger, "essh-whewww!!"

"Bless you," Nathan said, pleased and beginning to get quite excited.

"You liked that, didn't you?" Romy smiled, rubbing at her nose where the tickle was receding.

"Um... Yeah..." Nathan said, not sure whether admitting to this was a good thing.

"Tell you what; let's do something interesting while we wait until desert," Romy suggested.

"Like what?" Nathan inquired, all ears.

"Like have incredibly hot, passionate sex," Romy replied lightly, all innocence, her sparkling green eyes tilted up coyly towards the ceiling.

"Fair do's" Nathan replied just as calmly, in the same tone he would have used had Romy suggested sitting in the lounge to watch television. "Let's give that a go."

And then, catching each others' eye, they giggled like a pair of teenagers and made a run for the bedroom hand in hand.


They were both naked, and Romy had decided to light a few candles that were scattered around various pieces of furniture despite the fact that it was mid-afternoon.

She shut the heavy drapes lining his bedroom window, explaining, "it's more romantic. What's Valentine's Day without candles?"

But Nathan hadn't been complaining, especially when the sulphur smell from the candles had teased her already irritated nose into gracing him with a few additional sneezes.

The candles and makeshift obscurity gave the room a wonderfully sultry atmosphere, and for the first few minutes, he could hardly believe this was actually taking place. He and cold-stricken Romy, settling cosily in his bedroom, preparing to indulge in a very romantic and sneeze-filled lovemaking session. It was like something out of his naughtiest wet dreams.

And then, as his thoughts grazed the subject of dreams, Nathan suddenly remembered the field of roses he'd been trapped in when he'd woken up. He wondered, could it have been an omen?

"Very nice," he commented, referring all at once to the atmosphere, to the situation and to Romy herself.

"I agree," Romy replied, and Nathan couldn't help but wonder whether she was only talking about the candle-lit obscurity. "Now," she continued as she approached him, her hips swaying sexily until she sat down next to him, cross-legged on the bed, "I want you to tell me..." she stopped, slowly, oh-so-slowly bringing a hand up to her perfectly still face... "hehchew!" the sneeze was so sudden that Nathan actually hadn't expected it despite the pause. "Sorry. That one snuck up on me."

"S'okay," Nathan grinned.

"What I was trying to ask," Romy said as she reached over to Nathan's night-table to grab a tissue from the box that lay there for the first time that day, "was what would you find most exciting for us to do? Since I'm sneezing anyway... hesheeww!" this time, the sneeze was caught in a tissue and immediately followed by a strong blow, "and I can feel my cold getting worse, damn it, I thought we might as well make this really nice for you. So talk to me, love. What would be, I guess, your ultimate fantasy for this afternoon? An appropriate Valentine's Day gift?"

Romy tossed the tissue towards the bin across the room. She missed. "Whoops!"

"Well," Nathan swallowed dryly, finding her question quite daunting, as he'd never thought he'd ever find himself being asked about his ultimate sneeze-related sexual fantasy. "I..." he scratched his head, looking momentarily like a schoolboy trying to find the answer to a complicated mathematical question.

"Yesssss?" Romy coaxed.

"Hold on, girl!" he grinned, amused at her impatience. "I'm trying to come up with something good that we'll both enjoy."

"Oh. Okay then." Romy smiled back, leaning back with her arms outstretched to support the weight of her body in a way that made her small, apple-firm breasts jut forward in a most appealing matter.

"Right, here's something. I've always wondered what it would be like to have a girl sneeze on me during sex."

Romy rolled her eyes, not moving. "You're such a bloke, Nate. Come on, you can do better than that."

"Oh?" Nathan asked, chagrined that Romy had perceived this as a lack of imagination. "Well, um, how about if the girl - I mean, if you - sneezed a few times before... I think that would really get me going... And then, well, we could have sex... And if the girl, that is, you, would sneeze during, taking things really slowly and really letting me enjoy the sneezes as we're going at it, that would be great. Oh, and it would be really wonderful if just as I was about to come, she - you - would sneeze even more, make things really intense-like, and especially sneezed just when I was coming. And after that, we could just lie together for a bit, really close. That, I think, would officially qualify as being the most incredibly satisfying sex I could ever experience."

As Nathan proudly finished what he considered to be a suitable expansion on his fantasy, Romy couldn't resist snorting laughter.

"Nathan, I really, really love you, but do you realize how weird what you just said sounds?"

Nathan grabbed a pillow from behind him and chucked it at her. "Don't poke fun at me, wench! You're so impossible!"

"I know," she said, giving him a naughty smile whilst still struggling to choke down her impish giggles. It really was more affectionate than hurtful, and she was glad Nathan realized that. "Right then. Thanks for sharing. I think perhaps this little scenario can be engineered. Or can be more or less, since I don't know if any nose can really be timed to sneeze like that, but I'm willing to give it my best shot!"

"Oh." Nathan was finding himself surprised by Romy's unfailing willingness to indulging him.

"But seriously, love, I don't know how I can-... can-uh-huh!... Huh-sheww!" She paused, teasing him by sticking her tongue out at him and sniffling experimentally a few times, before continuing, "I don't think I'll be able to sneeze as much as you seem to want me to. I mean, I'm already sneezing loads because of this cold, but nothing like you obviously would like."

"It's a great start," Nathan assured her. "I want you already!"

Romy glanced down and smiled. "I can tell."

She dragged her eyes away from her boyfriend's crotch and looked towards the closed door to the room. "Hold on love, I've got an idea."

Before Nathan could ask her what she was doing, Romy had unfolded her slender legs and hopped off the bed, walking quickly towards the door. Reaching it, she opened it and sped out into the hallway. Nathan heard her going into the bathroom, fumbling with his cabinet as she looked for something.

"What are you doing?" he called, perplexed and a little bit afraid that Romy had decided to make a run for it after all. Or maybe just grab a sharp object.

"Looking for something," she replied in a non-committal tone, pausing before she let out another sneeze, a pleasing "eh-cheww!" sound which Nathan thought she'd perhaps made loud on purpose just for his benefit.

If that was the case, it was much appreciated. "Bless you sweetie. Can I help you?"

"No, I've found it!" she called back as Nathan heard the sound of his cabinet door clamping shut again.

Light footsteps reached his ears, and Nathan saw Romy enter the room and shut the door again behind her. One of her hands was placed behind her back, concealing the mystery object.

"What have you got there?" he inquired.

"Ta-dam!" she exclaimed, bringing a small glass bottle into view.

"Aftershave?" It was really more of an exclamation than a question.

"Yes, silly! Remember that time when we started dating and you put it on and it really made me sneeze until you washed it off?"

Nathan had thought he'd been the only one to have this precious memory engraved in his mind. He nodded, contently pursing his lips for a moment before giving her a full-fledged smile.

"I remember."

"Well, since my nose is already tickling because of this cold, I figured this cologne will probably really send me over the edge. And you too, of course," she added with a grin.

"You considerate thing, you. And it probably will, at that," Nathan laughed. "So, who puts it on, you or me?"

"Good question." Romy uncapped the bottle and handed it to him as she sat in front of him once more. "I think you should. The state I'm in, it just might finish me off."

"Okay then," Nathan answered as he took it.

"But not right now."

"What?" Had he misunderstood something?

"Valentine's Day is all about love for both of us, yeah?" Romy arched a dark brown eyebrow. "This means you don't get to have all the fun! You told me what you wanted, now it's my turn."

Nathan had to smile. Had he been really hoping that for once, Romy would let go of the woman-on-top role?

"You know I want to drive you completely out of your head with our little experiment here, but I want to enjoy myself too. So what I was thinking, before you send me into total nasal overdrive here, is that you could perhaps get me going somewhere else. So how about a bit of foreplay, honey? Up to it? This way, we'll both enjoy this just as much."

Nathan had to look away guiltily, using a hand to push down his erection. Foreplay. Oh yeah...

"Sure! I'd love to."

Romy burst out laughing. "Thank you kind sir. You are too considerate. But just before we get started, I need to... eh-huh... need to snuh-... to-iessheww!... To sneeze. Ahhh. That felt good."

"You're telling me!" Nathan grinned, setting down the bottle of aftershave in one fluid motion and jumping on Romy. "C'mere you!"

Romy was flat on her back as Nathan crouched on top of her, kissing her forehead, her cheeks, her nose (which made her sneeze just as it had when he'd done it right after lunch), her lips, her neck, her breasts... He worked his way down until he reached her sex. Romy worked her slender fingers into his chestnut coloured hair as he did it, sighing appreciatively.

"Go on," she whispered as he paused, smiling up at her.

"Getting impatient already, are we?"

He didn't really need an invitation. In a flash, his tongue was probing her cunt, darting about Romy's lips, labia, and her still-hooded clitoris. He explored, slowly at first, and then with more ardour as he felt Romy's body relaxing, shifting to accommodate him. He spread her gently wider with his hands, licking her like some kind of exotic and delicious fruit, savouring the taste of her, enjoying himself even as he brought her pleasure.

Working his way down, he finally inserted his tongue gently inside her, teasing her, feeling the particular texture of the tissue there. As he was leaning way in, tasting her depth, he felt Romy shift. At first, he thought she'd been tensing rapidly because of a dramatic increase in pleasure, but as soon as he felt her withdrawing, he understood what was happening. He was just about to extract his tongue to reassure her when, with little warning, she brought an arm up to her face and delivered a soft "hesheeew!" into the crook of her elbow.

This was the first time he'd ever had a woman sneeze whilst his tongue was inside her. It was novel and new, far from unpleasant, and exciting to no end. He felt himself stiffening immediately and couldn't help grinning as Romy laughed and apologize.

"Jesus, how embarrassing."

"Oh stop it. It's not like I mind."

Romy blushed prettily and closed her eyes again, in her own tacit way inviting him to go on. Nathan did, of course, wondering whether she'd sneeze again and what he'd be doing when she did.

As things turned out, he was giving her a clitoral tongue bath intense enough to drive any woman out of her mind, and this time, he didn't withdraw in surprise when it happened. Romy didn't say anything and Nathan continued to pleasure her, growing more excited by the second, not only because of the sneeze (though he thought that was fantastic) but also because of his girlfriend's own obviously increasing excitement.

As he kept pleasuring her, he felt her sex changing, in colour and in feel, blossoming like an exotic hothouse flower against his tongue. Her clit swelled, gaining in sensitivity, and each time he delivered a strong vertical stroke, she would inhale sharply, her thighs trembling, telling him he was on the right track.

He could tell she was nearing orgasm; the way her thighs tensed and the way she couldn't help but writhe against his tongue spoke volumes about her state of excitement. Not to mention the small mewing sounds she was making, which in and of themselves were enough to put more fire in Nathan's loins than there already was.

Nathan thought he just might explode without even being touched when finally, Romy, her cheeks flushed and her chest rising and falling erratically, moaned,

"Oh Nate, I'm gonna...ahh... gonnaaah..." and Nathan redoubled his efforts, persuaded that she was about to say 'come', when he realized that she was gasping for breath for an entirely different reason. "Aaahhh... aAAahh... AsshhEEEEW!"

Immediately, as he felt her warmth dissolving on his tongue, she did it again.

"Eh... heshewww!"

Romy then sniffed heavily, remaining still, as Nathan slowly dipped his tongue inside her to feel her muscles contracting rhythmically against it. He loved the taste of her, an exotic cocktail of woman and pleasure, and lost himself in it as Romy slowly came down from the heights she'd reached.

And allowed him time to cool down, too.

"Thanks," she murmured. "I really have never met anyone who could do that quite like you."

Nathan propped himself up on his forearms and grinned. "Trust me, the pleasure was mutual."

"Hmm..." Romy eyed him, dubious, wondering if her cheeks could get any redder.

Somewhere inside, she couldn't help wondering how Nathan could possibly find it so thrilling when she sneezed. She couldn't believe actually having done it while his tongue was inside her, but then again, he hadn't complained. And looking at him now, she couldn't help but smile back at him. Perhaps this foray into the unknown would be even more extraordinary than she'd believed.

"Let's keep this going," she said.

"Okay," Nathan nodded, bringing his tall frame to a sitting position and stretching his arms above his head to ease the cramped feeling he'd been experiencing. "How do you want to go about it?"

Romy sat up as well, and patted around the table top for the bottle of aftershave, still looking at Nathan. "Since you enjoyed my sneezing so much, let me treat you to some more."

Nathan, suddenly shy again, couldn't think of an answer that wouldn't sound silly. Instead of talking, he watched Romy clasp the bottle in her small, slender hands, and unfasten the cap. Experimentally, she sniffed it.

"Whew, this is strong stuff... Just smelling it like this, so strong, I can feel a tickle in the back of my nose. In fact, wait... It's not just a tickle, I really need to... tuh... uhuh... huessheww!... ahh... to sneeze."

Nathan simply looked at her, entranced.

"At a loss for words, honey?"

Nathan, hoping to God that his voice wouldn't crack, said, "Maybe a bit. God you're beautiful when you sneeze."

And this, to him, was a vast understatement. He adored the way her eyes would go a little bit blank before sharply shutting as tightly as balled fists, her eyebrows plunging towards each other in intense concentration. The flaring of her pink nostrils as she breathed in sharply a few times was exquisite, as was the expectant parting of her smooth lips.

When the sneeze finally came, she tilted her head back before releasing it. Her hair shook alluringly as it rushed out of her small frame, quick and harsh, a bit of spray jetting visibly from her nostrils in a way that was indescribably arousing for him.

He loved the way she would blink afterwards, too, looking a little bit lost and dazed for the second it took for her to recover. He wondered if this was so because she didn't sneeze often; did people who sneeze a lot just go back to their business without paying particular attention to the fact, or was it just one of Romy's quirks? Whatever the reason, it was part of her sneeze, and because of this, he treasured it.

"That's the first time anyone's ever paid me that particular compliment," she laughed, still flushed. It might have been embarrassment, or perhaps it was simply the sex. "Well, hold on, because I'm about to get absolutely gorgeous."

"Not that you aren't always," Nathan smiled.

Romy gave him a wink and aimed the bottle at him. Her index bore down on the tip, twice, dousing him with the clear and fragrant mist that escaped. The light, breezy smell reminded Romy of a field on a summer day, all open spaces with earthy undertones and sweet-smelling trees in the distance. It was very pleasant, but the scent immediately set about wrecking havoc in her already all-too irritated and sensitive sinuses.

Nathan was delighted as he witnessed her reaction, her smile becoming strained and then fading as a sneezy expression stole over her features. He watched her face become slack, her arms pausing as she promptly put the cap back on the bottle. And then, taking in a massive breath, her entire body pitched forward as she let out a rather loud "hiiehSHEWW!"

"Brilliant," Nathan couldn't help commenting, as his erection gave a subtle twitch.

Romy sniffed. "And I can already feel that that was just the beginning. Don't ever ask me again after this whether I love you."

Nathan laughed, and immediately after Romy had set the bottle on the table, he grabbed a hold of her. He gave her a hug, only releasing her after the wafts of aftershave had coaxed her into another high-pitched sneeze with which he felt her entire body convulse against his.

Nathan lay flat on his back as Romy positioned himself atop him, a vaguely sneezy expression never quite leaving her gorgeous features. He thought again about how he'd wondered whether it would be him or her on top this time, and couldn't help admiring Romy's strength and self-confidence. He didn't mind, really; he was already set to enjoy the prospect of the excellent view he would get of her sneezing as she straddled him.

And sneeze she did. As soon as she'd aligned herself above Nathan's erection, she was caught by a sneeze that made her tense as her head bobbed forward. Then, as she slowly lowered herself onto his shaft, coating it luxuriously with the results of her excitement, she sneezed again, squeezing him pleasantly. And as she began a slow rocking motion, she sneezed again, prettily, before stopping to rub at her nose.

"That aftershave is really something," she commented.

"I quite like it myself," Nathan quipped.

"Bet you do - it's driving my nose crazy! Huh... Hesheww!"

"Don't be so self-conscious," he chastened her, "this is really turning me on like you wouldn't believe, you know."

"I'm glad," she said softly, gazing at him with a stare infused with emerald intensity. "I love you," she paused, before sneezing yet again, "heh... heh-sheww!"

"Bless you."

Romy resumed her slow rocking motion, trying her best not to interrupt the rhythm as she sneezed every fifteen seconds or so. Nathan savoured each one, gorging on them, his eyes never leaving Romy's face in anticipation of the next one. God she was beautiful when she sneezed! She would squint her eyes as their green depths clouded over, and her soft chin would give the faintest tremble. Her thighs would tense up as well, giving him an advance warning he really didn't need every time a small explosion was in the making. Then, her breathing would change, and after a few shallow inhalations that excited him almost as much as the sneezes themselves, she would do it.

Her head would snap forward, her lips parting, as she released sneeze after sneeze that she couldn't quite control. Fine mist landed on his chest and his flat stomach, delicate droplets that issued forth from her mouth and nose, heightening for Nathan the sensuality of the experience. There was something so profoundly and innately sexual about exchanging bodily fluids, of whatever nature.

He sometimes cupped her firm breasts as she sneezed, and felt them quiver in his palms. He could feel the breath being forced out of her chest with each explosion, and feeling her taut nipples as she did so was immensely pleasurable. The tightening of the muscles surrounding his member was even more so, however, and he could feel his penis pushing forward in an enthusiastic response inside Romy every time she sneezed. She was so warm, so wet, so tight, and the sneezing was like icing on an already fabulously rich and luxurious cake.

He lost himself in the rhythm, feeling his own thighs trembling as Romy rocked above him, gaining speed almost without his noticing it, going faster and faster. Her sneezes seemed to be coming more rapidly as well; instead of every fifteen seconds now, it was more like eight. Nathan was indeed living out the fantasy he'd described earlier; he was having fantastic sex with the woman he loved, and she was sneezing relentlessly atop him as she drove him nearer and nearer to climax.

He didn't speak to her; he couldn't have managed it even if he'd felt the need to, his pleasure was so intense. He was fully focused on holding his orgasm at bay as long as possible in order to savour the experience to the fullest. The aftershave's effect on Romy wasn't lessening - quite the contrary! And this was, ironically, what was making his self-imposed restraint so difficult.

He couldn't get over the exceptional excitement her sneezes brought him; the sight, the sound, and even the feeling of her spray on his body. Not to mention the way it made her body tense up, bringing their already wonderfully enjoyable love making and entirely new dimension. There was something indescribably exhilarating about living out a fantasy he had held so secret and so dear for so many years. All the times he had fantasized about being in this very situation, all the daydreams he'd enjoyed about Romy sneezing and all the stories he'd conjured up in his mind on lonely night, they all seemed to coalesce around this singularly spectacular experience. They magnified it somehow, enhanced it, his mind fuelling the intense enjoyment his body was already becoming fast overwhelmed by, until Nathan, seeing Romy sneezing again and again atop him, could hold out no longer.

Just as Romy was winding up for another sneeze, a truly glorious "heeh... he-eh... HESSHEWWW!" the spasmodic tightening of Romy's cunt around his sex cinched it.

Nathan arched his back and closed his eyes as he came inside her, his erection jerking forward again and again, pushing out all the passion that had been until then held at bay. It welled up from deep inside him, feeling like a series of electric jolts as he released bursts of warmth inside Romy's secret darkness. His jaw was clenched from the power of it and his hands gripped the sheets almost convulsively as he let course through his lanky frame one of the most powerful orgasms he'd ever enjoyed.

And then, in the space of a few seconds, it was all over and he floated back to Earth. Romy was still atop him, but she'd discontinued her frenetic rocking motion and held both hands in front of her face, covering her small nose.

Her eyes were streaming as she asked him, "Nate... Hasheww!.. Hand me a tissue? Please?"

He did so promptly, and watched Romy carefully as she rapidly took it from him, bringing it to her nose as she sneezed into it's softness.

She blew her nose heavily, emitting a few rather unladylike honks as she struggled to alleviate, if not of her cold, at least the allergic reaction brought on by the aftershave she'd sprayed onto Nathan.

"You okay?" he inquired, gently.

"Yeah... heh... hessheww!"

"Bless you," he said.

Romy looked at him with eyes that were now as red as her nose, and suddenly, he felt a little bit guilty for having enjoyed her misery so much. Guilty, yes, but also amazingly satisfied, relaxed and happy.

And then, he had an idea.

"Want to take a shower with me?"

Romy blew her nose one last time and peered at Nathan. He was looking as radiant as she had after he had pleasured her, and a light sheen of sweat coated his tall frame. Sweat, mingled with that sweet smelling, sneeze inducing cologne. A shower suddenly sounded very appealing, not only because it would give them a change to rub their naked bodies against each other and wash off the by-products of their amazingly hot lovemaking session, but also because it would rid Nathan of his all-too effective aftershave.


She was the first to hop up and stride to the bathroom, her hips swaying and her long chocolate brown hair swishing across her shoulder blades. She reached the door and half-turned towards him, looking at that moment as if she'd stepped off the pages of a men's magazine. Nathan couldn't take his eyes off her, and felt a rush of love for this caring, headstrong girl he'd been lucky enough to have been dating for half a year.

"Are you coming, sweetness?"

Romy paused, sneezed again, and then beckoned to him.

In one fluid motion, he was on his feet, walking towards her.


"This cake's fabulous, isn't it?" Romy said. "It was a good idea, waiting for dessert."

"Mmm," Nathan muttered, remembering that it wasn't polite to speak with a mouthful of food.

"I think it was an excellent choice."

"The cake is great, but I still think the other sweet was better."

"You mean the chocolate...?" Romy glanced at him quizzically, and then rolled her eyes at the impish grin Nathan was giving her. "Oh, that."

She sniffed. Her nose, which had cleared during the shower, was beginning to get stuffy again now that they were once more comfortably settled in Nathan's warm bed.

"Yes, 'that'. I really want to say thanks. That was really incredible for me. It was even better than I'd dreamed! I hope it wasn't bad for you either, mind, but it was just so... so... "

"Fantastic? Brilliant? Superb?" Romy supplied helpfully.

"All of those and more."

Nathan pushed another bite of cake into his mouth and then deposited the plate on the night table next to him.

"I've always liked eating in bed," he commented. "Especially when I'm not alone."

"It's a wonder there aren't more crumbs in here then! Not that you won't have to wash the sheets anyway after today," Romy chirped, setting aside her own now-empty plate. She turned to Nathan and kissed him full on the lips, bringing her hands up and running them through his shiny, still-wet hair. "So do you do this often?"

"Do you mean eating in bed, or having fabulous sneezy sex?"

"Er..." Romy paused and reconsidered before deciding that the second option would perhaps yield a more interesting answer. "Having fabulous sneezy sex."

"Only on special occasions," Nathan purred, putting his arms around Romy and pulling her down close to him between the sheets. "But then again, you can never have too many of those..."