Birthday Present

Not Saying Girl

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Dana was feeling very excited; she had been going out with Jeff for just over two weeks now, but this was the first time she had invited him to her flat. It was his birthday, and she had planned a romantic evening a deux to celebrate with a splendid home cooked meal and cake. She felt just like a teenager before a date with a handsome crush, running about fixing everything in her small home so it would look just right, an occasional nervous schoolgirl giggle escaping her.

Of course, she reminded herself, she was no longer a schoolgirl. A quick glance in the mirror confirmed that. Her slim, shapely frame was encased in a sexy yet demure pale blue summer dress that accentuated her generous breasts and small waist. Her green eyes were dramatically enhanced by a touch of makeup and pink-tinted lipgloss made her naturally full lips appear particularly lush. "Perfect!" she thought, pleased, as she checked herself once again to make sure she looked stunning. She wanted nothing less than perfection on this most special of evenings.

When the doorbell rang, Dana was so on edge that goose bumps appeared on her arms, making the downy hairs there stand at attention. She smoothed back her shoulder length ash blond hair and took a deep breath, putting on a practiced smile before walking to the door. Adopting a stance which she hoped oozed the poise and self-control she wasn't quite feeling, she opened the door with a sweet smile.

Jeff stood there smiling shyly, looking as nervous as she felt, a rose in his hand pointed towards her. "Dana - you look amazing!"

She grinned and demurely took the rose before "Come on in, you walking cliche you! Happy birthday! Thank you for the rose. Its really sweet, but you shouldn't be offering me gifts on your birthday."

Jeff took on a mock chastised expression and said "I'm sorry... I won't do it again". They both laughed and suddenly the tension that had been present ever since he had arrived melted away.

Dana waved him to the couch strategically placed at one end of the cozy livingroom, asking him if he wanted anything to drink. She smiled fondly at him as she watched him making himself comfortable. He was a tall, blonde, lanky fellow attractively clad in chinos and a blue cotton shirt. Sporty yet suave, a sexy, pale, copper-tinged five-o'clock shadow gave his cheeks a golden sheen that highlighted his high cheekbones and Scandinavian good looks. His intense blue eyes looked merrily into her green ones as he replied:

"Sure! Anything with a touch of vodka is great for me," he replied, sitting down on her well-worn plushy blue couch while she dashed into the kitchen.

A moment later, she heard a stifled sneeze from behind her.

"Bless you!" she called, adding a small amount of lime cordial to the two small glass tumblers full of vodka and cranberry juice she was preparing.

She turned to go back into the living room, drinks in hand and nearly tripped on Tabs, her fat yellow tabbycat who was lying fast asleep, sprawled in a most undignified position right in the middle of the kitchen floor. "You would think having been stepped on a number of times would have cured him of that bad habit!" Dana thought, sighing, as she gingerly stepped over him and made her way back towards Jeff. Handing him his drink, she noticed he was sniffling and offered him a tissue.

"No, I'm fine," he replied, smiling shyly as if embarrassed. "Sit down with me," he added, looking her over, "you really do look nice tonight. Tell me, how much time do girls really spend preparing themselves before a date?"

Dana answered, making playful small talk about it not really taking that long, when she noticed that his attention seemed to be wavering. She kept on nonetheless, watching with growing interest as he pressed his lips together and wiggled his beautifully shaped, slightly aquiline nose, struggling to keep looking directly into her eyes. She almost stopped when she realised he was trying hard not to sneeze.
Dana felt funny inside; she was really attracted to Jeff, but had never told him about her fetish. Nothing really got her as hot and bothered as seing a man sneeze, for some strange reason, and she found the combination of Jeff's good looks and his efforts to stifle the oncoming sneeze particularly attractive as she forced herself to continue talking in a coherent manner despite the increasingly crazy drumming of her hearbeat in her ears.

"Besides," she finished, "nothing beats the amount of time guys spend on their hair, don't you agree?"

She asked the question, knowing full well he was in no condition to reply at that precise moment. She felt a twinge of guilt for torturing him, but she really couldn't help herself. Would the handsome man sitting tensely in front of her be overpowered by his tantalizingly flaring nostrils? Sniffling as discreetly as he could, Jeff nodded, but the motion seemed to trigger the sneeze. He abruptly turned away and shut his wide blue eyes, covering his mouth just in time for a quick, stifled double "Huh-tssh! Huh-tshh!".

He turned back to her, giving a soft, embarrassed laugh and said "Damn, but that felt good. I'm sorry" he added sheepishly. "I just really had to sneeze... I don't know why, my nose is just tickling so..." He paused, his eyes squinting shut again. "Huh-tssh! Sorry. My nose is tickling badly all of a sudden! It's like... Heh-tshoo! Augh!"

Jeff paused after this exclamation and gave another embarrassed laugh "I'm having second thoughts on that offer now. Would you mind bringing me that tissue? I'm really sorry... I just... Huh-tssh!"

Of course, Dana didn't mind at all. Though she secretly enjoyed Jeff's stuffy nose and his sudden rush of delightful sneezes, she didn't want him to be uncomfortable. Smiling widely at him and feeling suddenly giddy, she got up and went into the bathroom to get him a tissue.

When she got back, she caught Jeff ardently fending off Tabs the cat with one foot, a horrified look distorting his handsome features as the big tabby was trying to affectionately rub up against his leg. Unfortunately for him, Tabs was notoriously determined when it came to demonstrating affection to anyone who entered his home and would not be persuaded to leave. The charade lasted until Jeff sneezed violently on him and scared him off with an enormous "Hah-TSHHHOOO!"

"Here you go!" said Dana, her heart skipping a beat at the sound of that wonderful sneeze. She handed him the tissue and scooped up Tabs. "You don't like cats?"

Jeff blew his nose heartily before answering in a low voice "No... I... Hhh-tsshoo!... Uh... I guess I should have mentionned this before, but I'm very... huh... very...Huh-choo! I'm really very allergic to cats. They make me... Uh-choo!... sneeze like crazy... Huh-huh... Hah..." Jeff took in a series of shallow breaths but the sneeze seemed to leave him hanging.

"Look, " he began again, his voice beginning to sound rather nasal. "I'm really sorry, maybe I'd better go and we can do this some other time... I didn't know you had a cat and I haven't brought any allergy pills with me. And there's cat hair... Huh-TSCHHH!... cat hair all over your place. Its just making me sneeze really badly already and if I stay, it's only going to get worse, I can feel it. I don't want you to see me like this... Hah-TCSHHH! It's really embarr- ah-CHOO! Embarrassing" he finished, looking fairly discomfited.

While Jeff was feeling miserable and embarrassed about the situation, Dana felt herself growing more and more excited. She loved the way Jeff looked when he sneezed, the second where he stood frozen before the sneeze overtook him and the effort he made to try and keep them down. It was just so sexy... If she could have had her way, she would have tied him to that sofa and rubbed Tabs all over him, before letting him sneeze her into sweet oblivion as she sat on his lap. She began to feel uncomfortable, torn between her desire to have him grant her additional sexy sneezes and the more socially acceptable alternative of agreeing to let him go.

Though usually level headed and reserved, Dana could also be impulsive. She had on occasion acted rashly and done things she had regretted. The vodka in her system helped her get over her inhibitions and before she could stop to think, she took a long look at Jeff's evident discomfort and blurted out:

"Don't go! Do you have any idea what this is doing to me?"

He misunderstood her question and tried to explain. "I understand,Dana, but I ... Hah-TSCHHH! I'm really not going to be much fun tonight if I keep on like this; I don't want to ruin the evening because of my stupid allergies. I'd really better just... Huh-TSCHOO!... just leave before it gets any worse than it is." he finished lamely.

"No, you didn't understand what I meant!" Dana tried again, smiling fetchingly, all caution thrown to the wind. "I meant that you are just really sexy like that. I don't know why, I've just always been really attracted to sneezes, and you... oh, you have a very sexy sneeze!" she tossed her hair and laughed lightly, giving him an intense look of pure seduction.

"What... huh-TSCHH! you find this sexy? That's... pretty strange, isn't it? Huh-TSCHH!"

His curious tone was enough to make Dana blush lightly and get defensive. This was the first time she had admitted her interest in nasal explosions to anybody and she hoped that Jeff wasn't repelled.

"Well, its better to find it attractive than to find it disgusting, isn't it?" she replied archly.

Jeff simply nodded, sneezing again explosively a second later. She crept up closer to him, and sat down next to him. Giving him another intimate smile and glancing flirtatiously at him behind veiled lids, she brushed his arms lightly, and started to unbutton his shirt. It wasn't like her to be this forward, but his persistent sneezing was getting the better of her.

"What are you doing?" he asked, surprised.

"What does it look like, silly?" she answered coyly.

Before he could protest, his allergies got the better of him and he could only snap forward with two powerful sneezes: "huh-TSCHH! Hhh-TSHHOO!".

Despite his jerky movements, Dana finished unbuttoning his shirt, and proceeded to tug it off his back. She was feeling hornier than ever now; Jeff's allergic reaction was making her hotter than she could ever remember being with a man. This was like a fantasy come true! Seing her flushed face and the gleam in her eyes, Jeff decided maybe this wasn't such a bad idea after all.

"So you... Huh-TSHHH!... you really find it sexy when a guy sneezes? That's some strange turn on, but I... huh... Huh-CHOO! *sniff* I guess there are stranger ones out there. Like... Huh... Huh-TSCHHH! Huh-uh... Oh, now, what are you doing?" Dana pressing a hand hard against his crotch startled him out of an impending sneeze and he pulled away gently.

"We've only... Hhh-TSCHH! Been going out two weeks! Are you sure you want to... Huh-TSCHHH! to go this fast?" he asked, almost worried, as Dana was toying with the button on top of his jeans.

"Jeff, you don't understand. If you keep on sneezing like that, I don't know what I'm going to do to you. You are just making my hormones run wild! I guess the vodka isn't helping, but there's no nice way to say this. I want you so bad I could just jump on you right now and let you sneeze me right into seventh heaven!"

With a bemused expression on his face, Jeff just lowered his arms and let dana unbutton his jeans. Still sneezing, he got up and helped her get them off him until he was standing with only his socks and his watch on. Though filled with lust, Dana knew that wouldn't do - who makes love to a man who has only socks on? Off they went!

Still not quite believing what was happening, Jeff decided to enjoy the strange situation he was in. He had never seen Dana acting like this, but he rather liked this strange, new, sexy side of her. She had gone from being a proper, straight-laced young woman with exceptional self-control to a wild seductress almost overcome with passion and lust. Few men could resist such open invitation, especially from an attractive girl they fancied, and Jeff wasn't one of them. No longer bothering to try and stop his sneezes (she said they turned her on, didn't she?), he proceeded to undress her in turn.

"Are you really... Huh-TSCHHH! sure you want to do this, Dana? You won't regret it in the morning, will you? I mean, I... I... Ha-TSCHOO!  I really like you, and I wouldn't want this to end because you... Huh... Hhh-TSCHHH! you thought you had made a mistake.... Huh-TSCHHOO!"

"Don't worry, babe" she replied breathily, now also undressed.

The sight of her like this, naked and totally aroused right up to her dilated pupils managed to put fire in Jeff's blood even through his allergic reaction. His member was standing tall and proud, even as he continued sneezing helplessly as a result of his exposure to the remains Tabs' abundant shedding.

Dana couldn't believe what she was seing. She had never seen a man sneeze while naked before, especially not when he had an erection. She noticed that when he sneezed, Jeff's penis would bob up and down from the force of it. "Hutchoo!!!" up-down-up. "Eshoo!" up-down-up. It was mesmerizing. She saw this happen exactly three times before she snapped and tore her eyes away. Dana thought that had to be the most erotic thing she had ever seen. Was it possible to have an orgasm just from watching a naked man sneeze for a long enough period?

"Jeff, I want you so much right now," she purred.

With that, Dana literally pushed him onto the couch. Powerless to resist, Jeff sat down, member pointing stiffly upwards. Dana pounced on top of him, and sat on his lap as he sneezed again and again: "Hhh-TCSHHH... Huh... Hhh-TSCHOO! ESHOO! ... Huh... Huh-SHOO!".They were big allergic sneezes that rushed out of his body as if she couldn't have held them back even if he had wanted to.

Frantically, she grabbed his member and aligned it with her own already fully lubricated sex. All the unknowing teasing he had done by sneezing up to this point had succeeded in getting her so bothered that she was already open and more than ready for him. He entered her all at once, the force of a powerful sneeze pushing him forward - Hah-TSCHHH! Dana had never felt anything even remotely so amazing in her whole life. A man sneezing whilst inside her was a completely new experience, something she had longed to experience for as long as she could remember. For a few minutes, she just sat on Jeff's lap, Feeling him move inside her with every sneeze. She purposely rubbed some of the cat hairs left by Tabs on the couch onto his nose to make him sneeze even more. She could feel his penis inside her, spasming in an incredible way with every sneeze. "Hhh-TSCHH!"-jerk - "Huh-TSCHH!"- spasm- "Huh-TSCHOO"-sharp jerk - "Hah-TSCHOO!"-spasm-...

"I think I could go on like this forever!" she thought deleriously. "If he did that long enough, I think my whole body would explode with pleasure. To Dana, having Jeff sneeze while she was riding him felt absolutely incredible. Every sneeze brought a wave of pleasure over her so great that she fleetingly wondered if there was a level of physical pleasure that could actually be harmful. The anticipation between sneezes was almost as delicious, making the actual sneeze all the more intense. She knew she was going to come quickly; she was about 500% into as much in mind as in body.

Remembering that she shouldn't be selfish, Dana began to move her body up and down onto his shaft, bringing him some pleasure as well as he continued sneezing. Jeff had never had an experience like that one either; Dana was so aroused that he could not help but follow. The jerky movements and the almost animal noises of pleasure she made everytime he sneezed were driving him wild as well. He found himself responding and getting more and more excited even as he felt her pleasure increasing. With every intense allergic sneeze he let escape him, she was wriggling more, and the pleasurable sensation in his member intensified. When she actually started moving up and down instead of just sitting there and letting the muscles in her sex contract around his, it almost became too much for him to continue.

Sneezing almost uncontrollably now, he tried to warn her. "Dana, stop or I'm... Hhhh-TSCHHH!... I'm... Huh-TSCHHH! going to come... This so good... Hah-TSCHHH!" he pleaded.

Dana would not be persuaded; she was enjoying the experience too much to stop now. She was past caring about exactly what had gotten into her; she felt an orgasm the size of the world's biggest tidal wave approaching and she felt about as powerless to stop it as Jeff was to stop his allergies from getting the better of his seizing nose. Though she knew the experience might last longer if she heeded Jeff's warning, she couldn't help but keep on her slow, langorous up and down movements, driving him even closer to the edge.

At that moment, Jeff heard a low growling sound behind him. He looked back, and mild panic registered on his features when he saw the origin of the noise. Tabs was there, right his face, standing and purring on the back of the sofa where he'd jumped up to get closer to Jeff and Dana. To Jeff's horror, Tabs promptly sauntered over and began to rub himself onto his face. In a flash, Dana took her arms off Jeff's shoulders and pushed the big tabby off the couch. The whole episode took about five seconds, from Tabs leaping up to the back of the couch to his landing in a graceless sprawl on the floor behind it, but the damage had been done.

Jeff felt the tickling sensation in his nose multiply and intensify dramatically and, to Dana's delight, exploded into one of the worst sneezing fits he had ever experienced. His nose was already irritated by his exposure to Tabs hair, but actually having the feline rub its dander-laden form onto the quivering mass of exposed nerves in his tender passages was simply overwhelming. Powerless to control his seizing nose, he had no choice but to submit to the torturous demands of his allergies and launch into a series of strong, wet, rapid-fire sneezes. With each one, he gave a sharp upwards jerk upwards inside her.


In the middle of this impressive fit of powerful sneezes, Dana felt her orgasm beginning. She was so excited by their lovemaking and so turned on by Jeff's allergy attack that it was absolutely huge. Jeff's continued sneezing just made it build and build, last and last, the pleasurable feeling spreading in waves through her whole body until she felt as if she were dissolving into a warm puddle of contented, relaxed muscles. Still, he couldn't seem to stop and neither did she, though the feelings of physical ectasy were so intense she couldn't keep from crying out in delight in time to Jeff's sneezes:

"Yes!... Oh yes... ohhhhh...Oh God, oh yes!!!" Was there anyone in the entire city that wasn't hearing her reach these soaring heights? Dana very much doubted it.

Even through his spectacular sneezing fit, Jeff was still feeling the pressure  and friction of Dana's hot, slick sex moving around his own. The motion caused by his own sneezing was making their bodies grind closer and harder together, jamming his pelvis against hers with every sneeze that shook him, heightening both their pleasure even more at the same time. When he felt her starting to come, her movements all jerky and her legs stiffening with excitement as she moaned and cried out ecstatically, it was too much for him. He gave in and climaxd as well, feeling the warmth course up and up, out of him through the hard rod that was buried deep inside the hot darkness of her in a series of orgasmic spasms. The release felt unbelievably good, and though his allergies were still torturing him, he thought it had to be one of the best orgasms he had ever experienced.

As his sneezing and his erection began to subside, Dana just sat on top of him, hugging him tightly with both her arms and her legs. The two of them were thoughroughly exhausted and satisfied after this intense bout of lovemaking. Dana couldn't believe what had just transpireed; even in her most secret and erotic fantasies, she had never dreamed that such an amazing sexual encounter could possibly take place. She silently blessed Tabs, who was nursing his wounded pride by licking his coat a few feet away, near the kitchen entrance and throwing them the occasional sour look.

After a short wait, Dana pulled back from Jeff.

"Are you all right?" she asked, her eyes finding his. "I hope I didn't freak you out or anything there, but I have to tell you..." her eyes took on a mischievous glint as she paused before conluding, "that had to be the best sex I've every had with anyone in my whole life."

Jeff grinned sheepishly. "Well, it was certainly... different... Hhh-TSCHHH! But I have to say that was pretty intense for me too," he conceded, taking both her hands in his. "We'll uh... we'll have to do it again sometime."

They looked at each other and both burst out laughing. A newfound complicity had suddenly blossomed between them because of that abrupt, intense and most special experience. As they were getting dressed again, Jeff still letting out the occasional sneeze, Dana suddenly remembered the food she had left baking in the oven as a birthday surprise for her boyfriend.

She ran over, panicking and rightly so, but it was too late. They had been so absorbed by what they had been doing that neither had noticed the acrid smell of smoke coming from the kitchen. Of course, Jeff wouldn't have been able to even if he had been paying attention because his nose was so stuffed up, but it was a wonder the smoke alarm hadn't gone off.

Disgruntled and suddenly feeling very silly, Dana reported the incident to Jeff, apologizing for depriving him of his birthday meal. He only laughed good-naturedly:

"Don't worry about it; the dish I got instead was a lot tastier... Hhh-TSCHH!... Oh, man, this sneezing is getting a bit much. Tell you what," he said, looking at her with a sly smile. "Since it is my birthday, I'm going to let you treat me to a meal somewhere in a nice little restaurant. Where no cats are allowed", he added cheekily.

Dana squeezed him tightly, winked at Tabs who was once again sprawled on the kitchen floor sleeping, and looked towards the door.

"It's a deal!" she exclaimed happily, and they both took off.