Gnarly Carly

Jeff B.

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One day, a young man wearing a Memphis Chickadees jacket came into Wal-Mart on Carly’s shift. As he walked toward the pharmaceutical department, there came a thunderous double sneeze: “A-A-ACHOOOOOOO! A-ACHOOOOOOO!”

Carly couldn’t repress a delighted tremor: the man was dead handsome, with darkly sensual European good looks. Also, he had what was to her mind a perfect sneeze: full-bodied, explosive, and seemingly entirely unashamed.

How convenient, then, that the Wal-Mart training videos had instilled it in Carly`s mind that customer service was very important. It gave her a good excuse to approach the sneezy stranger and ask him if she could help him find anything.

“Oh yes,” he said with a sniffle. His chocolate-colored eyes looked moist and red, as though he’d been cutting up onions. “My hay fever is acting up and I’m looking for some AllergyTamers.” As if to illustrate his point, he turned to the side and sneezed again, another loud: “ACHOOOO!”

Carly walked with him to the appropriate row of medications and pointed out the pills he was seeking. She did it, it must be confessed, with regret. How sad to see such pleasant-sounding sneezes end. Unaware, the young man picked up a packet and examined it to make sure it was the dosage he wanted, and then turned to face Carly with a grateful smile.

“Thanks,” he said. “By the way, my name’s Chad.”

Carly introduced herself in turn. Then, unable to resist, she pointed to Chad’s jacket, asking if he played for the Memphis Chickadees.

“Sure do,” he said. “Do you like baseball?”

“Do I?” Carly beamed. “I love it. I play catcher on a women’s softball team,” she elaborated. “We’re second in our division.”

Chad nodded his approval. “Sounds like you’re really into it. Baseball is great stuff.” Then, he looked to the right, as though he was just getting an idea, before focusing again on Carly. “Hey, do you want some free tickets to tomorrow night’s Chickadees game?”

“Sure. But I think I’ll just have the one ticket, “ she said, giving his handsome face another once-over. Then, catching his puzzled look, she explained: “If we get together after the game, we don’t want a crowd with us, do we?”

“Oh, ok,” Chad replied. This girl was certainly a fast mover! “Well then, here’s your ticket.” He pulled one out of his jacket pocket. “Why don’t you meet me outside the locker room after the game?”

Carly agreed. Then, she heard her team leader calling her on the loudspeaker and had to report back to him. She said goodbye to Chad and hurried off, but faintly, in the distance, she heard him sneeze again twice; “HACHOOOO! A-ACHOOOOO!” like a heartfelt goodbye just for her. She couldn’t wait to see him again.


That night, Carly watched Chad pitch a brilliant three-hitter, helping the Chickadees win 3-0 against the Toledo Mud Huts. Following the game, she met him outside the locker room as suggested, and together they went to a sports bar to discuss plans for a proper date this coming Saturday.

Carly informed Chad that she would have to work until noon and then play in a game with her softball team at one. Coincidentally, Chad also had a one o’clock game with his team. For the sake of convenience, they decided to meet at her house for dinner at six. It would be nice to relax together, they thought.

“Let’s play catch in the park after dinner,” Carly suggested. “I want to see if I can catch your fastball.”

“My fastball is deadly,” Chad warned. “I won’t throw it to you unless you have the right protection. That means besides your catcher’s gear, you need to wear a cup to protect your… um… vital parts.”

“Vital parts?” Carly chuckled. “I thought only guys wore those. I’m not exactly sure what it is you’ll be wanting to cover.”

It was Chad’s turn to laugh. “Okay, okay. I admit it. I’d just be curious to see what you’d look like with one. Hot, I bet.”

“Well, if you put it that way,” Carly breathed, “bring me one tomorrow night and I’ll wear it.”

“Ok, I’ll pick one up for you at Wal-Mart,” he said.

It was only after she’d hung up that Carly regretted not asking him if his hay fever had acted up since she’d last saw him. Damn it. Those meds must’ve been working.  


Saturday night, Chad arrived at Carly’s house at 6PM for dinner and a game of catch afterward. She greeted him excitedly, shouting: “We won our game! We totally creamed the Memphis Mosquitoes. Our pitcher was totally amazing, and I caught everything she threw!”

“Good for you,” Chad congratulated her. “We won too – and believe it or not, yours truly hit two home runs.”

After dinner, an excellent mushroom-and-ziti bake, Chad and Carly got ready for their game of catch. He presented her with the protective cup, just as he had promised her. Uncertain how it was supposed to go, she slipped it on between her pants and panties, where it formed a rounded little bump.

“It feels weird,” she said, chuckling to herself, “but maybe I’ll get used to it.”

They headed to the park and played catch for two hours until it got dark.

“Let’s hit the shower when we get back to my house,” Carly offered. She suggested they shower together, and then wondering if she was being too forward, added that they’d be saving water that way. The state had been suffering drought conditions for the last month.

“Wise move,” Chad agreed, winking conspiratorially.

Within the confines of the shower the couple got more intimately acquainted with each other’s body as they washed each other from head to toe.

Afterwards, they dried off and then entered Carly’s bedroom – it had become pretty clear just what kind of “date” this was going to turn out to be. Chad was certain to score his third home run of the day. Carly pointed out that the sheets (from Wal-Mart of course) were silk, which Chad found appealing.

The couple undressed and headed toward the bed. Suddenly Chad gasped: “Where are the tissues? I’m gonna sneeze!”

“Sorry, I’m out of tissues,” Carly said apologetically. She looked around frantically, but she didn’t seem to have anything for Chad to blow his nose in. Then, she smiled mischievously.

“Here,” she said, removing her last item of clothing: a pair of panties. “Sneeze in these.”

She flung her panties over to him. Just in time, as it turned out, for Chad grabbed them as though they were a handkerchief and pressed them to his nose. He let out three urgent-sounding sneezes: “ACHOOOO! ACHOOOOO! A-ACHOOOOO!”

Carly shifted uncomfortably – though he didn’t know it, this was perfect timing on Jeff’s part. She felt herself getting wet. But then, thinking perhaps Chad would find it kind of weird that sneezing had this effect on her, she bit her tongue and just watched him, silently, as he wiped at his nose with her panties.

“Um, sorry about that,” he said.

“Don’t be,” Carly said. “Please.”

“If you want, I’ll wash these and bring them back to you,” he offered.

“Forget the panties,” Carly said pointedly. “Right now, I’m more interested in you.”

Chad approached her and, not being one for foreplay, gently lay on top of her and guided his erection into her vagina. He thrust in and out of her, enjoying her clutching at his buttocks, his breath becoming quite short by the time he allowed himself to reach orgasm. Apparently his timing was just right – Carly let out a delighted moan and arched her hips up to meet his thrust.

Afterwards, Carly pulled Chad toward her and hugged him tightly.