The Overheated Computer

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Rick had done his job well, as he did every day since he was an admitted perfectionist verging on being pedantic, but he just couldn't see that this was the end all of his being. Occasionally, work got extremely busy and paradoxically took his mind off the brain-numbing repetitiveness of the tasks, but more often, it just trickled through at a rate that made him want to bang his head against the generic fabric-padded wall of his cubicle to wile away the time.

However, head-banging in the office not being a socially accepted activity, Rick tended to escape his tedious reality by day-dreaming. Amidst the commotion around him (why was everyone else always looking so busy when he felt like he had nothing to do? Or were they all just like him, pretending so that they'd keep their jobs?), he would indulge in his day-dreaming habit, drifting into his fantasy world.

Most of the time, it was filled with women.

You see, ever since Rick was old enough to remember, he had been fascinated by women. They were so different, both in appearance and nature, that he found them completely enthralling. The way they were smaller than he, more graceful, more delicate and rounded, always made him want to reach out and touch them with infinite care. The way they seemed so aware of the feelings of everyone around them, weighing their words, looking at men in a way that suggested they knew something their counterparts didn't, never ceased to amaze Rick. And most women did seem to hold secrets, so many secrets.  There was something inside him that compelled him to try and get to the bottom of the Mysteries of the Female Mind.

Not to mention the Female Body.

His mother being a huge movie buff, even at a very young age, Rick spent what felt like hours imagining that it was him at the airport in Casablanca saying a heart-wrenching good-bye to the one true love of his life. At other times, he was the dashing young upstairs neighbour of Miss Holly Go-Lightly in that old apartment building from Breakfast At Tiffany's. He would imagine that that it was him to whom the gorgeous (if flaky) Holly came running back after finally realizing that she couldn't live without him. His idealized and romanticized view of women in general made him elevate these movie stars to Goddess-like status, and he only wished that someday, he would find himself in such a romance that would allow him to live out his dreams of an old-fashioned, quixotic courtship.

Rick's way of trying to find that Special Someone had been to treat women with a gentlemanly flair that always left them wondering and often wanting more. He always opened doors and pulled out chairs, kissed women's hands and walked next to them on the outer side of the pavement (just in case a car came by and splashed them inadvertently should there be a puddle). And women loved it. Coupled with his striking good looks, his gallantry made him quite popular with the opposite sex.

Growing up, Rick became sexually active at the tender age of fourteen. Far from being a short, acne-ridden teenager, Rick was always one of the tallest boys in his class, blessed with floppy blond hair and striking apple-green eyes. When hormones began to invade his body, he acquired an athletic build which he enhanced by spending hours at the gym. The splendour of the resulting chiseled frame was not lost on the girls around him; as his male classmates squirmed with jealousy, Rick was always surrounded by the school's prettiest girls, taking them on dates that seemed plucked out of a lush, highly romantic novel, from which they all came back raving.

And this suited young Rick quite well, thank you very much. Along with an exceptional craving for romance, the boy had a soaring libido, which only seemed to grow as years went by. If women were going to succumb to his charms, he figured he might as well get full measure out of it and bring both of them a little something extra. As far as he knew, none of them had ever emerged dissatisfied.

In later years, Rick then used his exceptional insights into women's nature to regularly seduce them in the late hours of the evening, making them glow from the inside out.  These exquisitely pleasurable experiences might follow a friend's party where he would be introduced to a seductive temptress whom he decided he had to have, or after a chance meeting in the park and a conversation about proper dog training. It sometime seemed to him as though all the women in his life were touched at one point or another, and though he hated to admit it, it was all beginning to bore him. Acquiring a reputation as a playboy was one thing, but Rick wished he could just find The One he had yearned for all these years, his special Movie Love with whom he would just ride out into the sunset.

However, Rick felt that this special lady would need more than just intelligence and good looks to hold his interest. She also needed an open mind.

You see, there was another spin to Rick's sex life, an unusual interest he had always kept hidden from the women he encountered and then bedded. He had kept it buried for so long that he sometimes wondered whether it would ever surface, whether he'd ever meet a woman who would allow him to share this with her.

His secret was fairly simple: for as long as Rick had loved women, there had been something else that did it for him. Strangely enough, whenever he heard women sneezing, he would become completely, utterly, wonderfully sexually aroused. He really had no explanation for this quirk - it was just something that happened, like his leg bouncing up when the doctor struck his knee with the reflex-hammer. He had had what he thought of as "his fetish" for as long as he could remember, and had discovered early on that for him, love of women and love of sneezing went hand in hand. It was truly amazing how one could increase the tantalizing promise of the other.

His eighth-grade girlfriend Sarah, his first lover ever, had had terrible allergies.  Rick knew he'd had his fetish long before he met her, but with Sarah he became oh-so-wonderfully aware of it.  In keeping with his gallant image, he had carried real cloth handkerchiefs with him everywhere, to give to his lady in her (fortunately many) times of need.  It was spring when they were together, and he would always keep a careful watch for the slight glazing of her expression, the softening of her lips, and the tiny sniffing that meant she was about to sneeze.  It was a point of pride with him to whip out a handkerchief and place it in her delicate hand in time for her to bring it up to her pink nose and cover, but not stifle, her girlish "hitchoo!"  Then he would tell her how beautiful she was, and she would blush prettily, and they would try to find a place to hide and kiss each other senseless and perhaps, if he was lucky, even make love.

He remembered those times fondly, in that special rose-tined way you do when remembering your first true love. Sarah was sweet, pretty, very sneezy, but they'd both been so young... The way they'd fumbled and groped each other when they'd had sex made him shake his head now when he thought back upon it. They way she'd sneezed had thrilled him to no end, and though she'd never had an inkling as to what had always made him lavish affection on her so every time she did it, she'd never complained. She'd sneezed, and Rick had been all over her, and that had been that. He thought of her sometimes, when he heard a woman whose sneeze resembled Sarah's, and then wondered what had become of the girl he'd lost his virginity to.

But in the present, when Rick was at his boring job, he was always looking for alternatives to banging his head against the cubicle to dispel the boredom. One of the favourite methods of escape he had developed was constantly looking, and hoping, for a seductive woman's sneeze. When he was lucky enough to catch one, he would take it in like a thirsting man gratefully allows water to reawaken his senses. His mind like a camera, he would remember every last luscious detail of the sneeze: how the woman looked, how many sneezes he heard, and what the sneezes sounded like. Rick would file them away safely in his mind, and then use these memories later in the evening, with a partner or without.

Now on this particular evening, when Rick finally got home from work, he immediately went to his computer. An attractive brunette working in a cubicle a few metres away had been coming down with what seemed like a particularly sneezy cold, and she had treated him to fantastic nasal explosions all day. It had driven him absolutely crazy, but he hadn't been able to do a thing about it. Besides, he'd had the brunette already, and she was dating his boss, so she was a case of "enjoy but don't touch" if he'd ever seen one!

Now that he was home, however, it was time to release some of that pent-up frustration. Rick immediately went to his favourite sneezing web sites, for there he could completely lose himself in the exhilarating world of sneezing, gorging on it to his heart's content. He could never get enough of sneezing when he was in this kind of mood - Rick loved to see it, read about it, and most of all, listen to those wonderful, sensual .wav files.

He began this night sitting at the keyboard, removing his white short-sleeved shirt and the flatteringly tight white T-shirt underneath it, conscious of his upright posture and chiselled 6'2" frame. When he was at last wearing nothing more than the smart black trousers he'd spent the day in at the office, he glanced downwards at his chest, and was pleased as always to see the definition from his many hours of workout. His cut abdomen rippled down to the top of his shorts and his long, slender, athletic legs were bent under his trousers' black fabric so that his feet rested lightly on the floor.

His long fingers flitted on the keyboard until he found his destination. When he got to his favourite sites, he began his evening of pleasure and relaxation by reading some of the stories made available for people like him by various authors. Oh, what the stories did to him - they were to Rick an ideal kind of foreplay, perfect for getting his thoughts whirling with all the right kinds of images. He would pretend that he was watching all he read taking place on a movie screen, every detail dramatically enhanced and amplified, the sneezes slowed and focussed on, the women fighting for control and losing it, all titillating him to no end as he read on and on.

As he read on, he realized something was beginning to bulge in the confines of his trousers. He moved around a little in order to get more comfortable, undoing his zipper and sitting back in a more relaxed position. He continued to read story after story, like a kid in a candy store, clicking from one to the next, his hunger growing. Women holding back sneezes and letting them go because they just had no control; couples engaging in sexual situation where sneezing was the catalyst to the romance; two beautiful women caressing each other as only women with their inherent softness could do... it didn't take too long before Rick was completely hard. He decided to take off his trousers and shorts, leaving himself completely naked, his chiselled body softly glowing with reflected light from his computer screen.

He decided to slow down a bit, wanting to string out the pleasure a while longer. Climaxes were always more intense if you held back and worked up to them for a longer period. Not unlike sneezes, he mused. So exiting the stories' website, he decided to start an online conversation with one of his female friends from the Internet who enjoyed sneezing as much as he did.

He was delighted to see that she was online, and for a while, they chatted about this exciting topic. True to their habitual talk, things began to take a heated turn soon enough, and Rick found himself becoming even more aroused by the chat than he had been by the stories, as this was real action with a real woman at the other end of the chat. As they were role-playing, her pretending to have a torturous cold for his benefit, he imagined her in his mind's eye, a delicately beautiful redhead with brown, watery eyes, needing desperately to sneeze and doing so over and over again.

Almost without his realizing it, his left hand began to venture down below the keyboard and he began to lightly stroke his erection. He was so aroused that his cupped hand barely covered half of it. As he chatted he also was listening to those wonderful wavs. Wavs of women trying to hold back their sneezes, who just couldn't do it and had to let them out, in tremendous fits, a lot like an orgasm during great sex. Rick's hand was moving quicker now, up and down, stopping for short strokes on the top of the smooth-fleshed surface of his manhood.

And then, the girl he was chatting with began to tease him, asking why his responses were coming more and more slowly, asking why he was making all those typos. Rick had to laugh, and decided that perhaps it was better to quit while he was still ahead. He made up a story about an unexpected visitor having arrived (not thinking of the irony involved) and bade her a fond farewell, promising that they would catch up to each other again soon.

Rick really meant it, only at that point in time, there was something he wanted more.

He reached for the bottle of cocoa butter that was in his drawer, and brought it to the party. He sprayed a little dab on the palm of his left hand and began to massage his rock-hard penis, the cool lubricant enhancing the fluidity of his motions in a most welcome manner.

Up and down, faster and faster, all the time thinking of all the women who had sneezed that day

Faster; of all the women who he heard through his computer

Harder; of the women who he loved to talk to through the Internet.

Unbelievably hard now-with the tip ready to explode with pleasure; of his Ideal Woman, holding her skirt down Marilyn Monroe style as she stood above an air vent, failing exquisitely as she was overcome by a volley of sneezes.

He backed off a little, wanting to enjoy the moment...but as soon as he started focussing his attention again, listening to the sneeze .wavs that were still playing on his computer's speakers, his hand returned to its fast rhythmic motion sliding up and down his hot, throbbing erection.

Finally, with one last "Ah... Ah.. I ...Think ... I ... Ah... am going to sneeze...", his tempo sped up to a frantic rate, "Its coming now...Ah...Ah...AH...AHCHOOOOO!!!" and with that glorious sneeze, Rick exploded all over his chiselled abs and chest, the opalescent liquid lighting all the way up to his angular jaw. Arching his back and tilting his head so that the chords on his neck stood out, Rick continued to stroke his spasming erection until all of his pleasure had been let out.

Opening his eyes after what felt like an eternity, Rick looked around and laughed a little at what a dramatic display he had made. Fleetingly wishing that the male anatomy could be a bit more discreet in its pleasure - the way women's bodies were - he got to his feet and busied himself, cleaning up.

The whole time, thoughts of women from movies flooded his mind, Holly Go-Lightly sneezing, May West with Allergies, Greta Garbo coming to him to be comforted when she caught a nasty cold... Surely, there had to be a woman like that out there for him, somewhere?