Sharon's Secrets


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It took a minute for him to remember exactly where he was when he awoke, but a few things were clear to him, once the cobwebs were cleared-

Sharon was in his arms, and that was perfectly lovely-not screwed up.

And, he had to piss, altogether unlovely, and that was screwed up, because he didn't want to leave the bed or to wake her.  He lay there, warmth next to him, and pressure on his bladder, hoping the feeling would pass.  It didn't.  Grumbling quietly, he gently peeled back the covers and left the bed.  She didn't stir.  He tiptoed around to the door of the master bath, and then felt around for the light switch.  He paused for a moment, wondering if the light would disturb her, but then considered he'd be shutting the door right away, so he flicked away.  The light flooded and stung his eyes, and then, sneezes flooded and stung his nose.

"Hey-ETCH, ESHOO, ESH," he started, before he could cover his face.  He looked back at Sharon, still motionless on the bed, and sniffled.  She appeared to be a heavy sleeper.  He quietly gave thanks for that, and then took a look about the unfamiliar bathroom.  It fascinated him, largely because it was more feminine than he imagined her bathroom would be, not in a "floral" sort of way, but in an "odd bottles and pots of female cosmetic stuff" kind of way.  He never quite understood why women had half of the stuff they did-he regarded it all as things one part chemistry and one part witchcraft.  And, curious, he couldn't resist touching things.

"Alpha-hydroxy...beta-hydroxy, benzoil peroxide...Christ, I wonder she has a face left," he muttered, examining some labels.  Some of the items were less chemical sounding.  "Aloe gel...Tuber rose talcum powder..." The last of which slipped from his hand as he picked it up, hitting the floor softly and sending up a cloud of fine white dust against his navy-blue pants legs.

"Oh, fuck," he commented, bending to pick up the container.  "Oh fu...hah...oh...HATCHOOO!" he sneezed, thunderously, and covered his face with his arm.  He needed to sneeze again, rather desperately, but knew that would wake her for sure.  He sniffed-and then realized what an error that was.  He picked up the container, eyes watering. "Etch...huh-eshhh...etch," he muffled them as best he could, and then realized that the only tissue she had in there had been toilet tissue-and that was still on the bedside table.  He turned, to see that she already had the light on, and was holding out the roll, and stifling a laugh.

Frowning back more sneezes, he trudged back to take the toilet paper, and began unspooling a large fistful.  "I was...huh...only...HASSHOO! Looking at sobethig...and...HETCHOO!"  He blew into the fistful, and then opened one eye and looked down to see that Sharon was looking at him strangely.  "What?"

"You're just going to have to strip, now," she said, obviously amused.

"What?" he asked, and then looked down at the carpet.  His pants were shedding tracks of talc onto the floor, and raising mini-clouds as he walked.  He rolled his eyes, and then acquiesced to Sharon's yanking his jogging pants (and boxers) down around his ankles, and then, with as much dignity as he could muster with a wad of toilet tissue still applied to his face, stepped out of them.  Still blowing, he returned to the bathroom while Sharon balled up his clothes and put them in the hamper, and then, lazy-housekeeper-fashion, simply patted the dusty spots on the carpet with her hands until the white tracks were less noticeable. He did what he had to do, and then washed his hands.  Standing in front of the sink, the sneezy feeling came over him again.

"Hee-ah-ESH!  Eshoo! AH..." And then he paused mid-sneeze, realizing she had opened the door and was standing in the doorway looking at him. "What? Eh-CHOO!"

"Your butt cheeks clench when you sneeze," she said simply.  He stared at her, sniffling.

"Does it make you hot?" he asked, joking.

"Well, if you must know," she replied, placing a hand on one of the aforementioned body parts.  He breathed in sharply, as much from the suddenness of her touch as well as from the grip of another tuber rose talc-and cold-induced sneeze.

"HA-ESSSH!"  And with that, she squuueeeezed ever so slightly. And then, he noticed that she seemed to shiver, and her eyes closed as if she were savoring it.

"MMMmmm," she groaned.

"It does," he said, softly and thoughtfully.  Certain things about Sharon clicked in his head suddenly.  He touched her face, and then whispered with lips close to her ear.  "It does turn you on, doesn't it?"  He could even hear her heart pounding as she slowly nodded.  Her back was against the wall just by the door, and he pressed her body close.  He picked up the container of talc, which still had a dusty film at the opening. He closed his eyes, knowing it would only take a little with the condition his nose was in.  He sniffed it in, and the scent immediately set his nostrils flaring.  Her hands were suddenly grasping his rear tightly, and he threw back his head, the need to sneeze so strong that he had to work to get it out.

"Eh-eh-eh-EH-HEH-ESSSHHH!!  ESHHOOO!  HE-ETCHH! ETCH-ooo," he sneezed, one arm bracing himself against the wall to prevent him from pitching his head into her, and the other still holding the container of talc.  He knew he wouldn't need any more of it, and so he set it back down on the counter, sniffing in and feeling a new wave of sneezes grip his nose.

"Heh-uh, heh...uh," he began, mouth close to her ear.  He could tell by her expression that she was entranced, carried away with his display.  She ground her hips and pelvis against him, completely, blushingly aroused.  "HATCHOO!  HETCH! ETCH-SHOO!" He sniffed, and then reached down to touch her soft bush.  It was soaked. He began working her pink flesh with his fingers in a circular motion, the sneezes still coming.  "ESHOOO!  HESH-ESHOO!"  They were becoming more wet, he realized he was spraying her, but she didn't seem to mind-on the contrary, he could feel her shudder against his hand.  She moaned, and he could feel an awful build-up in his nose-a tingling sneeze that was driving him mad.  It also occurred to him that her excitement had roused him terrifically.

"HAH-uh-ha-uh..." he breathed, trying to coax it to come. He buried his face in her wavy hair, hoping to get a good tickle going. "Ah-hee-AH-CHOO!" he sneezed explosively against her neck.  Her eyes rolled up in her head, and he realized his body was the only thing keeping her in a standing position-her legs had gone limp.  He ran his hand along her face, and her eyelashes fluttered before she pursed her lips to kiss his palm.  He relaxed and stepped back from her.


She gathered herself together and responded, mysteriously, "  Your poor nose..." She reached for the toilet tissue roll, and he let her tear off another wad, which she gently held up to his face.  Once he'd finished blowing, she dropped it into the waste bin and then bathed his face in kisses, one leg lifting and curling around his to pull his body close to hers again.

"You like that?" he asked, still a little surprised at how well the talc experiment worked.  She nodded, still kissing his face.

"It was that obvious?" she asked between kisses.  "It's a little...different."

"It'," he answered.  "It explains things," he added, a little mischievously.  Her eyes met his, and she could tell from the sparkle she saw that he was about to tell her all about herself.  She didn't mind.

"Oh, does it."

He nodded, and broke away from her nuzzling.  He then took her arm and led her back to the bed, and gently motioned to her to lie down.  She did, and he cuddled up next to her.

"I wondered about some of your boyfriends...and their...uh...handkerchiefs.  Like, what's his name...Arthur."

"Grass, tree pollen, ragweed," she sighed.  "That relationship was a walk in the park. I became quite the outdoors-person."


"Dust...very violently.  My housekeeping * suffered * the whole relationship."

He nodded.  He never quite understood exactly what she went for, but it suddenly made sense.  "Okay...but what about Daniel?" 

"Photic," she responded.  Seeing the look of puzzlement on Richard's face, she explained, "Sunlight, but most bright lights would work with him-and multiples!  I used to like getting up early in the morning, and..."

"We are now bordering on the realm of 'too-much-information,'" he commented, stopping her, but nonetheless, fascinated.

"I have a few more kinks in my Slinky than most people," she said, shrugging.

He laughed but then rolled on top of her.  "Whatever else am I going to find out about you?"

Stretching a leg up and wrapping it around him, she sighed and answered in a fake-worldly tone, "I keep limber playing solo naked Twister." 

"Who...uh...doesn't?" He shook his head like he felt sneezy again, but then stopped as the need faded.  She put her hands on his face and looked into his eyes, suddenly serious.

"Honey?"  The look on his face was one of pre-sneeze, half-addled anticipation. She thought it looked especially cute, especially when he was close enough to her that she would feel the movement of his body against her-but she didn't actually want him to sneeze just then.  Carefully, she tried putting her finger underneath his nose again, this time applying pressure.  She whispered, "Try holding it. Let it build."

He closed his eyes and swallowed, and was fully conscious of a need he had that was just as strong as the need to sneeze-his hard-on was insistent, poking against her soft pink abdomen.  Her other hand moved down to his hip, gently guiding him as she raised her pelvis up, allowing him to enter her.  She was already wet, and she rocked against him, rhythmically, undulating, fluidly, holding him tight to her with the one hand, the other still to his face.  He gasped, nostrils flaring.

"How's your face feel?  It was sore earlier.  And after that powder and those lovely sneezes earlier..."she cooed, letting her voice trail off.  He blinked, eyes watering. 

"By...sinuses...oh god..."

"Just breathe though your mouth."

"Like I have a choice..."

"Just a little more, and then...I'll let are you doing?"  He closed his eyes again, the tingling in his face needling him just as he felt the pressure, the throbbing in his cock being stoked to a crisis by her body grinding against him.  She moaned, an urgent sound, and he realized exactly what she had been asking. 

"I'b close..."

"All right," she began, and he could hear the strain in her voice.  Her finger moved from under his nose, and her hand pressed lightly against his lips.  He sniffed, and then gasped at the sensation flooding his nose, and all of his muscles tightened in expectation of the explosion. Her hand had gone to the back of his head, but he tried to pull away, the look in his eyes one of helplessness.

"Oh god...hee...ah...AH-HETCH! Hetchooo!  ETCHSSSSHHH!"  Blessed relief, and trembling response!  With the very sound of the sneeze, her body clenched tight to him, pubis thrusting up to squeeze tight to him, and the cry she made wasn't quite blotted out by the strong sound of his sneezes.  Her head was thrown back against the pillow while he felt a spasm more than the match of the one occurring in his nose.  He tightened his grip on her, pumping madly against her, the tingling sensation still in his nose, and spreading warmth in his loins.  "ESHHH...ETCHOOOO!"  He buried his face into the pillow as a shudder ran through him.  She moaned ecstatically, body seizing against his as he flooded her.  She continued to rock against him, her movements becoming more gradual as he relaxed his hold on her.  When he lifted himself up from the pillow, his nose was running freely, and his eyes squinted and blinked.

"Whew...ker-shhhh," he started, trying to catch his breath, but catching instead another sneeze.  Her hands flew to his face, thumb softly wiping the dampness under his nose, pulling him down to her, and she kissed him, even as he sniffed.

"You were incredible, just amazing," she managed, between kisses.  He pulled back ever so gently, feeling a sudden exhaustion, and dropped down, settling his head between her breasts.  She cradled him there, and he listened to the sound of her heart beating, half in a daze.

"To think I was unhappy about getting a cold," he whispered, philosophically.

She laughed.  "Well, not * happy *.  But, hmm, you're part-right."  She lifted up her head to kiss the top of his head, and he closed his eyes tighter at the soft feel of her lips against his hair.  "I will admit that it's a hell of a lot sexier for me than stomach flu would be."

"If I wasn't sick, I might have gone to a motel."

She let her head fall back against the pillows as she considered the words, her hands beginning to stroke him, his shoulders, his back.  She looked up at the ceiling, wondering how she could be that close to someone, and still not understand just what went through his mind.

When her curiosity (what the hell did he mean?) got the best of her, she finally asked, "You wouldn't have wanted to come to me? I mean, you said..."

"I'm in love with you, and you scare the shit out of me."


The words still mystified her, but still, he said he was in love with her, and it made her smile.  But why would she scare the shit out of anybody?