Desperately Seeking Sneezes


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"ACHOOOOOO!" Brian turned and sneezed away from his girlfriend Chelle.

"Wow, bless you!" Chelle said, doing a remarkable job keeping of keeping at bay any trace of irony. "You really know how to turn a girl on."

"ETCHOOOOO! Oh, s'cuse me."

Chelle turned and kissed him lightly on the nose. Brian smiled and rolled his eyes... but as he often did, he had to wonder about Chelle's comments regarding his sneezes. She was always making little jokes like that, laughing and saying things along the lines of, "Oh, I didn't know we were expecting hurricanes in this part of the country! Honey, protect me!" or "It's just so sexy when you sneeze all over me Brian, oh yeah, hit me baby, one more time!"

Sometimes he thought she was joking, but on other occasions, he had to wonder. Wonder if Chelle attached more significance to his sneezes than she let on, that is. It wasn't only the jokes; it was the way she made them. She'd often get very tender and cuddly after he'd sneezed, or her cheeks would go pink. Post-coital pink. Did Chelle really get turned on by his sneezes, or was it all in his head? Could he really excite her that easily? He was too embarrassed to ask, but he desperately wanted to know.

Then was not the time, however. Chelle was poised to leave.

"Well honey, I gotta be up early for work tomorrow, but I'll see you tomorrow night for dinner and then you can have me for dessert. Sounds good?" she asked, giving him a flirtatious smile.

"You bet. Can't wait!" Brian said, before kissing her goodnight and walking Chelle to her car.


Once back inside, Brian's mind began to wander back to all the comments Chelle had made about his sneezes over the past year. They had to turn her on; they just had to. Several months ago, for example, he'd caught a horrid head cold that had "mysteriously" coincided with the most incredible sex of his life. But was it really just happenstance?

"I just have to find a way to sneeze during foreplay or sex and see how she reacts, but how can I do it without her thinking I'm just rude and sneezing on her?" he mused, absentmindedly twisting up the tip of a tissue and inserting it in his nose. He often induced sneezes; he found the experience relaxing and also, paradoxically, arousing. His nose immediately responded, and before long, he exploded with a loud "HAAAAAACOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Brian sneezed openly into the air and barely had time to catch his breath before another sneeze built.


"Damm those where huge!" he said aloud. "How can I sneeze around Chelle... I can't just sit around sticking stuff up my nose..." he paused, expectant, and yet another sneeze seized him. Choooooooooo! *sniff*"

"Maybe some of my spices would make me sneezy, but not work right away," Brian thought.

It was worth a shot. He went to the kitchen and opened the cabinet. One at a time, he opened the bottles and inhaled deeply. His nose burned and ran, but didn't tickle.

"Ugh, this sucks. *Sniff* - I gotta sneeze this stuff out," he thought.

Again, he grabbed a tissue to roll up along with a few others to catch what he was sure would be messy sneezes from his runny nose. Brian tickled the inside of his left nostril for a few seconds and felt a huge sneeze begin to build. He picked up the tissues and waited...

"*Sniff* Ahhhh... Oh God," he whispered, deciding to sit down as this was going to be huge.


After that, Brian definitely needed a good blow or several, and promptly set about clearing his irritated nose of all the combined spices the sneezes hadn't managed to expel.

"Well, that won't work," he thought. "Damn, something around here must make me sneeze!"

Brian struggled to recall any non-induced, non-illness-related sneezes he'd enjoyed in the apartment. It took a few moments, but suddenly he remembered that the last time he'd given the place a good dusting, he had sneezed a few times. He doubted whether he had an allergy to dust, but it was worth a try... and besides the place could use a good cleaning.

He retrieved a feather duster from the kitchen closet and decided to start by attacking the stereo, since it was probably the dustiest thing he owned. He did his best to create a big dust cloud, and when he'd succeeded, he inhaled deeply. A faint tickle began to start deep in his nose. He kept cleaning and the tickle started to grow more respectable. Impatient, Brian leaned closer to a dusty shelf and inhaled the dust right off it with such skill as to make any addict proud.

"That should do it!"

He turned on the television and sat on the couch, trying not to concentrate too much on the tingling sensation building in his nose. After about five minutes, the tickle started to blossom into a genuine urge to sneeze. Brian raised his cupped hands to his face and waited.

"Ahhh... haaaaaa... *sniff*" Not yet, but it was coming - Brian could feel it. He rubbed his nose ever so lightly, taking in light, hitching breaths... that did it! "ACHOOOOOO! Chooo! Chooo! Itchoo!... Ahh... ahh... HIRCHOOOOO!"

The first and last sneezes had been huge, and the three in the middle about average for him. It had worked just as he'd hoped, and indeed exceeded his expectations! Even as he was thinking this, he could feel still more sneezes brewing. He sniffed twice experimentally; his nose was beginning to run.

"Hachooooooooo! Ittcccccccccchhhhhhhhhhh... shewwwwwwww! Haa... ohhh... CHOOOOOOOOOOO! *sniff* Chewwwwwwwwwwwww! Etch! Etchhhhhhh!"

Finally, teary eyed and out of breath, Brian grabbed a few tissues. He blew his nose, hard, and the sneezes ground to a halt.

"Cool! I've got to try this again tomorrow, and if it works again, I can use this trick to sneeze in front of Chelle. I can't wait to try this in the bedroom and see what happens!"


The following night, Chelle was in her apartment, getting ready to head over to Brian's. She had prepared a lovely meal to bring over, and when they'd finished with the main course, they would have each other for dessert.

On the backburner in her mind, however, something was lingering. She was thinking about how to tell Brian her secret. She had been wanting to tell him for ages how incredibly turned on she was by his sneezes. The whole time they had been together, she had always commented on his sneezes in a way she'd hoped transcended neutrality, but she didn't think he was getting the hint. She just had to tell him that night! It was either going to add to their sex life or kill the relationship, but she needed to tell him.

"Hmm... Maybe he'll sneeze tonight, and then I can show him what he really does to me," Chelle thought as she gathered her things to head over to Brian's.


Brian paced nervously around the apartment. The feather duster was primed, loaded with dust and waiting in the closet. A fresh box of tissues was placed in both the living room and the bedroom. He needed to snap out of the tense frame of mind he was in, so he grabbed a tissue and twisted one corner of it into a fine point, getting ready to induce a few sneezes.

Leaning back on the couch, eyes closed, he inserted the tip of the tissue into his nose and slowly began to twirl it around.

"Ahh- Ahh..." The sneeze tapered off in his nose. He inserted the tissue a bit deeper, and felt it graze that special spot that always set him off. "HETCHEWWWWWWWW! ACHOOOOOOOOO!"

That did it. He grabbed a few fresh tissues and brought them up to his nose


He blew his nose and checked the clock. Chelle would be there any minute. At least now, he felt more relaxed...


Chelle used her key to let herself in, and found Brian in the kitchen making some salad. He took the bags from her as he kissed her hello. They finished getting dinner ready, and sat in front of the television to eat and watch a movie.

Both were too excited and nervous to eat much. After they'd finished picking at their food and promenading it around their plates to make the whole thing look more convincing, Brian offered to clean up and take the dishes to the kitchen. While in there, he grabbed the feather duster. He buried his nose into it and inhaled deeply a few times. Just as it had happened the previous day, he felt a tickle grow in his nose.

He went back to the couch to watch the rest of the movie with Chelle. She curled up against him with her head on his shoulder. Chelle felt Brian move slightly, and looked up to see him rubbing his nose

"I wonder if he's going to sneeze," Chelle thought, immediately growing excited. A few seconds later, he rubbed his nose again. Not quite being able to hold back, Chelle reached up and said, "Here let me help you with that."

She began to rub her finger back and forth under his nose, staring into his eyes as she did it, her expression one of wonderment.

"Haa... Um, Chelle if you keep that uaaah!... Keep that up, I'm gonna sneeze!"

"Oh really Bri?" Chelle's serious expression was replaced by one tinged with mischief. "I think that's an idle threat."

"Ahh... haaa... *sniff* Chelle, I'm really-" he turned away just in time. "HURCHOOOOOOOOOO!"

"Bless you, Bri! You know, if you do that again, I'm gonna have to jump your bones right here and now!"

He looked at her and gave her a sly grin "Oh really? Well then... HACHOOOOOOO!" He turned and sneezed towards Chelle.

She couldn't take it any longer- just seeing Brian's nose twitch and his eyes crinkle at the corners was driving her wild. Those two sneezes were just the icing on the cake! Incredibly aroused, she decided to make good on her promise, and climbed up into his lap just as the next sneeze started to build

"Haah... HIICHOOOOOOOOO!" He couldn't help it; in the position they were in, Brian had no choice but to sneeze wetly against Chelle's chest. Far from being repulsed, she pulled him close and began to kiss him

"MMMCHHHH! MMMPPPCHHHH!" He sneezed while they kissed.

Was this really happening? Brian sniffled wetly and closed his eyes, feeling another huge sneeze starting to build. He also felt tissues against his nose, and realized that Chelle was holding them for him.

"Here, honey. Blow," she purred.

Brian tried to speak, but didn't get two words out before he exploded again. "Gonna sneee---ACHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CHOOOOOOOOOO! TCHOOOOOOOOOOO!"

He sneezed into the tissues while she held them, and then decided to do as he was told and give a wet blow.

They lay on the couch kissing for a while, and then Chelle asked, "Say Bri, what made you sneeze so much?"

"I was cleaning the apartment all day and I guess the dust just got to me. But hey, what got into you?"

"Oh Bri, I've wanted to tell you for so long... Your sneezes, they... umm... really turn me on. I don't know why, but I just want to make love to you whenever I hear you sneeze."

Brian broke out into a wide, pleased grin. "To be honest, Chelle I kind of suspected as much, but I was scared to bring it up." He paused, his eyes searching hers, before continuing. "Now that we both know, though... How about if we both go to the bedroom and see how turned on I can get you? I have a very full feather duster lurking in the kitchen closet..."