Getting Ready

Night Owl

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"I'm not sick", Jenny kept telling herself. "I don't have a cold. I don't have the chills and a fever, and my nose isn't running and itching. Today is the last day that I can afford to be sick, and I'm not. I'm not..."

"Heh-heh-heh-hehESSSCSSSHHHH!!" Jenny sneezed wetly, spraying her steering wheel. She wiped her right hand on the passenger seat of her car and guided it back into her lane with a miserable sniff. She tossed her blond hair back from her forehead with a groan and sniffled again. Tonight was the first time she was going to meet her girlfriend's family, and the cold that had been going around the record store she managed had made its stealthy way into her.

Missy's family had been slow to come to terms with the fact that their daughter had a girlfriend, so this was no ordinary evening. Jenny knew she needed to look her best and be at her best as well. She looked at her red, raw nose in the rearview mirror, met her own watery eyes, then rolled them as another insidious tickle began worming its way through her stuffy nose. As it built in intensity, she made a face of disgust and looked at the evening sun glowing over the horizon. The light brought the itch out, made it the only thing her mind could handle.

"Geehh-SSSSSHHHHHHH! EHTCHOO! Eh-eh-EH----," she froze for a moment, staring into her own bloodshot reflected eyes again until they squeezed shut, her head rolling back, and "GEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSCCHHHH!"

Her head snapped forward mightily, and a car horn from the oncoming lane startled her. She yanked the wheel back in the opposite direction, narrowly avoiding the guardrail on the other side of the road.

"Fucking sneezes," she grumbled, sniffing loudly.

Missy was waiting anxiously as Jenny pulled into the parking lot of the apartment complex she lived in. From the window, she saw Jenny slam her car door, then release two wet, explosive sneezes into the evening air. The mist shined briefly in the fading light before settling onto the pavement. Jenny trudged up the stairs, and Missy opened the door for her.

"Bless," Missy grinned, but her smile faded when she saw Jenny close up. "Oh God, are you okay?"

"Sick," Jenny managed to spit out before another "GEH-SHHHHHCCHHH!" bent her double. "I got a cold."

Missy paled. "Bad?"

"Ohhh yeah. MaryAnn missed three days with this puppy."

"Shit. I can reschedule dinner. It's okay." But even as Missy brushed Jenny's hair off of her forehead, her face belied her words. Missy wanted this tonight, to make her parents see what a wonderful lover she had found. Cold or no cold, she wanted to start down this new and exciting path in her life.

"Uh-Uh. No...n.....ESSSSSSSCCHHHH!" Jenny dropped her purse and satchel with the force of the sneeze, staggering briefly. "No way. It's just the beginning of a cold. Tomorrow I'll be in hell, but right now it's just a little sn....snnn..." she squeezed her eyes shut and pressed one finger along the side of her nose, which was blazing with tickles until, at last, they faded. "Sneezing. Some sneezing, some stuffiness. I'll dope myself up, avoid alcohol, and I'll be fine."

"You're sure?"


"God, I love you!" Missy gave Jenny a big hug, then looked into her eyes. "Is there a lot of sneezing?"

Jenny rolled her eyes. "Mis, now is not the time. We need to get ready."

"I know, I know." She paused, a smile sneaking onto her lips. "But there is, isn't there? There've been many, many sneezes."

Jenny smiled despite herself. "Yes, Missy. In fact, I almost got into a head-on collision thanks to a sneeze that got stuck on me."

Missy felt herself growing hot, and knew her face was reddening against her white skin and black hair. "Oh, this is bad," she moaned, walking into the living room. "My parents can meet my lesbian partner and find out about my sneezing fetish all in one glorious night!"

Jenny rolled her eyes at the dramatics as she followed her lover, then collapsed on the couch. "How are they gonna know about your little sneezing thing, huh? You just can't jump on me every time I sneeze."

"Yeah, but you said I get that look in my eyes when you sneeze, or that cute girl at Starbucks sneezes, or even when I sneeze!" She dropped to the couch beside Jenny. "Call me crazy, but I think you'll sneeze tonight."

"The medicine will help, and I guess you'll just have to look somewhere else when I sneeze. And hopefully the checkout girl from the coffee place won't be at your parent's for dinner. Huh-huh-ESSSSCCCH!"

Missy looked solemnly at her lover. "Cold sneezes, Jen. They're the worst of all. They get stuck in your nose and they take forever to come out. You're gonna be trying to sneeze and I'm gonna drown here."

"I promise not to try to sneeze. I'll fight them like hell, and if I lose, I'll stifle them." She took Missy's face in hands and gave her a kiss. "Now, relax. We need to get ready."

Jenny hopped in the shower while Missy ran to the White Hen on the corner for drugs and tissues. As she let the hot water wash the tension from her body, she began to feel better. Her sinuses cleared and she breathed in deeply. Sure, she could barely smell the soap and shampoo she was using, but it was better than it had been. Five hours, she thought, and I'll be asleep in bed. I'll call out sick tomorrow and torture Missy with sneezing fits, then give this damned cold to her and she can torture herself.

A sneeze popped up suddenly in her nose, and she jumped with the sudden intake of air. Her right nostril was alive with the fiery urge, and she decided to simply gave in and let it come.


She slammed her hands on her thighs as the sneeze dangled inside her nose, just out of reach. The right side of her face had wrinkled up as she took long, shuddery breaths, her eyes prickling and running. She waved her hands around under her nose, jumping up and down a little as she fought to release the sneeze. Missy was right, she thought in the back of her mind. This is gonna be a disaster.

She moaned and made a slight crying noise as her breasts heaved with the stuck sneeze. She forced her eyes open as wide as she could and stared at the bathroom light. Her pupils contracted, making her eyes a stunning contrast of red and blue. The bright light went to work immediately, and her eyes were forced shut again. She sucked in a massive breath, standing on tiptoes with the desire to sneeze, and finally released it with relief and satisfaction.

"Giiiihhhh---AAAH-SSSSSCCHOOOOO! GESSSCHHHHH!" Her nose blazed tortuously for a moment, then gave up "Huh-esch-oooo! HeGEsccchhhhhhooo! AAAAAASSSSSSSSSSCC! Guh-guh-EH-SHOOO!"

She staggered briefly, then smiled as she felt her nipples harden from the sneezes. She had sprayed all over the inside of the shower, and she giggled as saw beads of moisture up on the wall where there shouldn't have been any.

"Jenny, was that you?" Missy's voice grew louder as she entered the bathroom, setting a paper bag on the edge of the sink with a rustle. Jesus, Jenny thought, I sneezed so loudly I didn't even hear the door.

"Well, who else would it be?" She asked, sticking her head through the shower curtain a moment before Missy pulled it halfway back. "Some crazy lady who breaks into places, sneezes, then leaves?"

Missy looked concerned. "That sounded painful! Maybe we really should cancel this tonight. You're really sick."

"Actually, this shower is making me feel much better. Those were the last of them, and the medicine will help." Even as Jenny spoke, she felt her left nostril filling with a million tiny pinpricks, proving her wrong. She blinked twice as a sneeze threatened to burst forth, leaving her dizzy with the effort to suppress it. "Now let me finish up, and I'll get dressed."

"I don't know," said Missy playfully, her eyes taking Jenny in. "I kinda like the view from here."

Jenny desperately needed to sneeze. She struggled to control her breathing, but knew she had mere seconds before she lost the battle. She jokingly covered her breasts and crotch with her hands, but already her nose was playing the part of traitor, and she knew that Missy would insist they stay home if she saw another fit. Or even worse, she would lose control and start kissing her, which would lead to Jenny losing control, and while they would have fun, they would also be late.

"You do that, and w-we'll never get going." Missy rested against the edge of the sink and just smiled. "Now, go on!" said Jenny, trying to sound playful as the need to sneeze crested and began its release. "Pick me out something to wear to, um, speed things up. If we have sex before we leave, your parents will, ah, see it on us." She grinned genuinely. "Or at least smell it."

"Okay, okay." As Missy turned away, Jenny pinched her nose and stifled two enormous sneezes soundlessly. Her eardrums bulged and little spots of light danced in front of her eyes. She quickly pulled the curtain before Missy could turn back.

"What about that gray skirt? That, and that black top that I like so much?" Missy yelled from the connecting bedroom. "You know, the long skirt and the short-sleeved sweater with the kinda bumpy texture? You look really nice in that!"

Jenny had hung her head down under the spray. Her hands were tented over her nose and mouth, pinching her twitchy nostrils closed as her mouth hung open with the uncontrollable urge to explode. She sucked in a squeaky breath and stifled a fit of five sneezes. "Gmp! Gmp! Gmp! Guh-guh-guh-NNT! HuhKnch!" These hadn't been silent, but the sound of running water drowned them out. Jenny, after eight months of knowing about Missy's fetish, was accustomed to seeing sneezes as an aphrodisiac and was not entirely surprised to find herself growing moist.

"Shit!" she whispered, then shouted, "Yeah! I like that together!" She gave a moment's thought to the idea of masturbating quickly to relieve the new tickle growing much lower than her sensitive nose, but quickly abandoned the thought. While masturbating in the shower always looked sexy in the movies, it wasn't Jenny's favorite place. She preferred to be in bed on her stomach, a pillow under her hips and one hand massaging herself, wedged into her cunt between the pillow and the weight of her own body.

As Missy laid out the clothes, turning to the dresser to hunt for dark underwear, Jenny rolled her eyes with another sneeze. She shampooed quickly, breathing faster and faster all the while, trying to wash her hair before sneezing yet again. The sneezes continued to build, and she already felt a slight headache from the stifling. So what if we do cancel, she thought. We can do it next week, when I'm better, and not the incredible sneezing machine. But that would look bad to Missy's parents, and she is looking forward to this so much. Oh God, I need to sneeze so bad! She wanted to just explode as she had earlier, to sneeze and stamp her bare feet on the porcelain floor of the tub with the force of them, and then have Missy come running to the bathroom, jump in the shower, and make love to her, holding her as she fell into a contented sleep in bed afterward.

But none of that could happen, of course. All she could do was hold the tickles back until her hair was clean. Her tiny, pert nose (so different from Missy's long, elegantly thin one, much as her short body contrasted with Missy's tall one) was actually twitching back and forth as Jenny ran her hands frantically through her hair. She turned her back to the nozzle and tilted her head back to rinse the remaining shampoo out. The action caused a sneeze to escape - a short wet raspberry of a sneeze - and Jenny quickly kneeled slightly to keep from tilting her head back so severely. As soon as she felt her hair was clean enough to do, she lost control, snapping her head violently forward even as she pinched her nose shut. What followed was a volley of "KMCH!"s, one right after the other, with barely the chance to breathe in between them.

Jenny sneezed so helplessly that she lost her footing for one brief moment, slipping with a squeak on the slippery shower surface. Putting out her hands to catch herself, she took in a deep breath, the start of a truly massive sneeze, and froze. She had never needed to sneeze so violently in her life. Her feet had slid to opposite sides of the tub, her legs together at the knees. Her pussy had begun to ache with the need for satisfaction, and the long, neatly trimmed blonde curls between her legs were wet from more than just the shower. Her stomach muscles were clenched, chest expanded, nipples pointing outward as she held her breath. One hand was splayed on the tiled wall, the other grasping the shower rod. Her head was back, lips pursed together, nostrils flared out widely, eyes squeezed tight. Involuntarily, she felt herself begin to take air in again, as the sneeze began. Transferring her weight to the hand on the wall, she slowly reached over and pinched her nose. After this eternal three second battle, she relieved herself of the sneeze with a final soundless jerk and feared she might faint.

Missy stuck her head in the door. "C'mon, babe, we need to get going."

Jenny stepped out of the shower and grabbed her towel from the rack as Missy stepped back and watched her dry herself off. She could feel Missy's eyes on her, waiting for any sign that a sneeze might be approaching. That alone gave her several tortuous false starts, but she managed to hide them from her lover. Her favorite part of lovemaking was turning Missy on and then making her come, and knowing that her tickly nostrils could do this exact thing was beginning to really get Jenny hot. She was not the kind of girl who sneezed that often, but her sneezes were such events that Missy couldn't help but respond to them, and Jenny couldn't blame her.

Missy had revealed her fetish eight months ago, five months after they had begun dating and just as they were seriously beginning to discuss moving in together. As they sorted through all of the boxes long hidden in Jenny's closet, the dust overwhelmed them, giving them both snits of helpless sneezes. Missy sneezed with a harsh "Hurrrrrr-eshooooo!", rolling the r's sensuously, while Jenny's were wet and wild explosions that coated the palms of her hands with saliva and snot. It was all too much for Missy to take, and she approached Jenny from behind as they sneezed, kissing her neck and sliding one hand into Jenny's jeans. Jenny began to respond, but was surprised to find Missy already soaking wet and nearly mad with lust.

As Jenny began to question her teasingly about her arousal, she was overcome with a painfully stuck sneeze, and Missy had tearfully revealed her secret, one that she later said was almost as hard for her as coming out to her parents. After a particularly passionate bout of lovemaking, Jenny found she was put off by the idea, although she hid this fact from the girl she had fallen head over heels in love with. But Missy showed her some internet sites devoted to the bizarre fetish, and Jenny had to admit that there were a lot of people out there with the same desire. After some thought, Jenny realized that even if sneezing turned Missy on, she was still the exact same person she loved. Besides, many people considered homosexuality a perversion, so who was she to look down on a fetish that couldn't be controlled? She occasionally engaged Missy with sex games involving pepper and sneezing wildly as her lover went mad with desire. Jenny had to admit it had spiced things up, and she enjoyed it herself on a more moderate basis.

But right now, she was more worried about surviving the evening, even as her crotch continued to pulsate with desire, needing to be touched. Gradually and unsatisfactorily, that faded as she dried herself off (ignoring the temptation to spend extra time on her pussy with the roughness of the towel), swallowed her pills, and dried her hair. She hurriedly got dressed, but as they prepared to step out of the front door, the stifling caught up with her. A sudden sneeze burst forth without warning, and Jenny released a wild "GUH-EESSSCCCHHHHHH!" across the back of her lover's head. Missy turned slowly, color rising in her cheeks as excitement overcame her.

"C'mon, Mis," Jen gasped, wiping her nose on the back of her hand. "It was one sneeze. We'll luh-luh-LUGEHEEEESSSSCHHHHH!" Her head dropped towards the floor and she left it there for a beat before bringing it back up with a wet sniffle.

Missy, her breath caught in her chest, shook her head slowly. "Christ," she said quietly. "This is gonna be one long night."