"I feel caught in the act."
She laughed. "Oh really. Caught? Because she was here?"
He looked at her, surprised and suspicious. It would be * nice * if she would show a little jealousy. "Yes, because she was...sniff...here."
Sharon seemed to take it in stride. She squeezed him and started undressing, which made him spin around to watch. "I have got to get off these office clothes. Vinnie's is a tee shirt and jeans kind of place."
"It's a pizza place. You need to wash up. If we're going."
"Sharon?" Richard began.
She whirled around. "Baby?"
She waved her hand. "As if. You didn't invite her over...right?"
"She invited herself. With some of your stuff. And it was very nice of her to show up even though she's sick and bring it, even though she knew there was still more stuff at her place and could have given it to me yesterday. When I was over there, except for her allergies, she was completely healthy. Are you * sure * you're okay, Richard?"
"Maybe I'm...sniff...not. What are you saying?"
Sharon regarded him with a touch of amusement. So innocent. She liked him immensely for that. No wonder he'd had such rotten luck with his last few girlfriends. It was as if he had no sense of deviousness. She put her hands on his shoulders as if to brace him for some awful news.
"This was planned."
"Planned?" he said, sounding the word out. She kissed him, and didn't like how dry and warm his lips felt.
"Planned. She came over to see you-in my house. Why wouldn't she? It's only natural."
He sniffed, considering what she was saying. Only natural?
Sharon looked at him with disbelief. "To scope out the competition. To beard the lion in its den! Or something like that, I'm not really good with animal metaphors. Now...you know and I know that we have been friends for ages and have a very solid mutual..."
"Bless you...attraction. And you know and I know that we probably have a good thing going...right?"
"Need a tissue sweetie? You look a little runny." He reached into his robe pocket for one, and she continued, but only after he loudly and wetly blew his nose. He wiped carefully, halfway expecting what she would do next-she kissed the tip of it.
"Poor nose. But she probably sees me as just another ...let's face it, I'm a guy."
"You're * not * a guy."
"I mean-one of the guys. As I'm sure you realize. And I don't think I was entirely nice to her when I was over there. You know. I made her sneeze." Sharon looked guilty. It almost seemed like genuine guilt, except for it being Sharon.
"Dust, you said. And I'm not surprised."
Sharon simply grinned. "So, she wonders why I have you and she doesn't. It's simple."
"Oh?" He looked dejected.
She pulled him close. "I'm bitterly jealous. I could scratch her eyes out."
"Thank you. I nee-heee-HESSSHOOOO! Needed to hear that."
She gave him another kiss. "Poor Richard. I think we're ordering in again."
"No, you wanted to go out...I can...HESSSHOOOO! Go out. I'll take another cold pill."
She looked into his eyes. "You're sure?"
"Don't baby me-I'm sure."
She kissed him again. "Your lips are very warm...do you have more for me?"
She kissed him even deeper, tasting him. "Feel sneezy?"
He shook his head. She raised her finger to his nose, touching it very gently. Tickling, actually.
"CCChhhhhshooo! Chshhhooo!" his nose protested.
"Hmmmm, you're easy," she smiled. "And you're very sick. The furthest you're going is my car-I left the vitamin C and rose hips in the glove compartment. I'm getting Vinnie's take-out menu..."
"Stavros-the owner? He's kind of conservative. If I stripped you naked and fed you pizza in the middle of his restaurant, he really wouldn't want me coming back, and I kind of eat there a lot, you know?"
His eyes widened. "Strip me naked and feed me pizza?"
"I've always considered that to be something to be done privately between two consenting adults," she said. "I'll even let you pick the topping."
"Wow, such power you're giving me. I could decide it's pineapple and anchovy night. After all, I can't taste anything."
"Oh, really? You can...uh...eat pizza...all by yourself."
"Sniff...pepperoni's good, right?"
"Mmm, a nice greasy one." She resumed undressing. "I don't care what anyone says about you, you have excellent taste."
"I'm not too sick to take you over my knee."
She paused in the midst of dropping her skirt. There was certainly a thought. She hadn't been properly spanked in a good long time, and in fact doubted that she'd find a man capable of doing it. "You wouldn't," she purred.
In reply he gave two open hand shots to her posterior, firm, but not overly so, just enough to redden her face, he thought, just as much as he reddened the other part of her. The skirt fell to the floor, and she stepped out of it. "I would."
She backed herself up to him, rubbing her rear against the bulge in the front of his open robe and allowing him to encircle her waist with his arms. He began nuzzling her neck with his lips and nose and she could feel her pulse rising.
"What else would you do to me?"
"Kiss you...just so you know I'm firm...sniff...but fair," he said, between kisses and sniffles.
"Hmm, I think you're better than fair, honey, you're actually pretty good," Sharon commented, sarcastically. "But you're very firm."
"I am definitely that," he croaked, hoarsely, turning her around.
She pressed her lips to his, and they parted easily as the kiss deepened, his grasp on her becoming more intense. Her hand snaked between them to cover his male hardness, which she gently squeezed.
"The pizza can wait, I think."
"It can wait better than I can," he responded, and allowed her to walk him backward to an easy chair, where she pushed him down in it.
He looked at her with a touch of wonder as she slipped her stockings down over her thighs, raising first one foot and then the other, an act unadorned, but nonetheless as compelling as a striptease. He raised his hips up off the seat, bracing his legs and fiddling with his waistband to shed the unnecessary pants. She quickly slipped off her panties, and then helped him remove pants and briefs.
"But leave the robe on. I don't want you getting a chill."
She climbed onto his lap, situating herself with one leg bent on either side of him and her arms encircling his neck. He looked at her, eyes glassy and gorgeously pale. "Is that comfortable for you?"
She shrugged and smiled. "Very."
He leaned back in the chair, resting his head. "Good."
He sniffled, and she caressed his cheek. Warm. Maybe the least touch of a fever. Leaning forward, she kissed his face and lifted her pubis, already wet, up against his stiff penis, and lowered herself onto it, thrilling at the sensation of its hardness filling her. She let her hands roam freely then, over his chest, letting her fingertips graze his nipples and tease/tickle his ribs, making him squirm against her. She pressed herself against him gently, her knees under his armpits, and let his arms encircle her tightly while he made a gentle sound. She glimpsed at his face-the expression was sublime, his eyes closed, but his lids twitched ever so gently, and lips parted. She continued her gentle rocking, but waited in expectation.
"Essshhhhoooo, eshoooo," he sneezed, and then sniffled. She quivered, muscles tightening as she clenched against him. He flinched in pleasure, but then his nose wrinkled as he sneezed again, "Eh-tisshhhuhh!"
"Mmmm," she moaned, her fingers reaching into the robe pocket from which she'd seen him withdraw a tissue. She found a wad that had been stuffed in there, and shook them out, spilling them into the space between her thigh and the arm of the chair, and then she held up a fresh one. She handed it to him, and he pulled away from her to blow, leaning back so as to let her watch the operation. He wondered if there was a way in which the act of blowing could be made more fascinating and sexy for someone of her particular mindset and tried to make something of an act of it, forcing fluid from his nose and wiping slowly under her rapt attention. When he was done with his display, she reached up to his face, fingers gently smoothing the reddened skin of his nose, and brushing at a curl of snot his careful wiping hadn't gotten. The action tickled his delicate nasal tissue, and without hope of restraint, he sneezed again, forcefully, into her hand, causing her to clench against him again and again. Her motions more insistent, he felt warmth and a spreading tingle across his thighs-she was growing hotter by the instant, excited and wetter with each rocking motion. "Bless you, Richard," she murmured.
"This is some cold I've got," he said, hoarsely, reaching for more tissues as she pulled away her tingling hand.
"Sure is," she whispered into his ear, then kissing his cheek as the heard the sound of more damp blowing. He dropped the tissue to the floor, and his arms wrapped around her waist more tightly as he shifted position, the balls of his feet pressing harder against the floor, raising up his pelvis with the effect of her seeming to take in even more of him. She gasped, clutching at him tightly, and he could feel the first strong spasms of her passion. He leaned his face close to her ear, and she could feel his damp breath and hear the sound of his nose, gently sniffling.
He kissed her face. "I think...I may have to...sneeze again," he said between labored breaths.
She clenched her legs against him more tightly. "Oh, really?" and then she turned. His eyes were winking and his jaw was set in expectation. Fascinated, she lifted her hand to his face, gently tickling the tip of his nose again. "Does that help?"
His eyes opened. "Huh...umm...maybe." His eyes rolled and his head drifted back. She could tell from the way he inhaled that he felt sneezy and the thought heightened her excitement. Her hand dropped down, and he seemed to shake.
"Huh...eehhhhAAAAHHHHHHSHHHHOOOO!" he sneezed, and then snorted back, deeply.
"Damn," Sharon said, giggling, but obviously impressed. "Don't strain yourself on my account."
"I know you're enjoying this," he said, softly, as she returned to her rocking motions. "You're getting a little red in the face."
He began kissing her neck. Between kisses, he asked, "You liked the big one?"
The thought made her laugh some more. "God, I love you. Hmm, maybe size matters...in some things."
"What does that mean?"
"Mmmm," she commented, enjoying the kisses. "Well, you've got all those things covered, size-wise."
Oh," he answered. And then smiled. "Oooohhhh. I meant the sneeze."
She tried to look innocent. "Oh? Well, it was a nice big one."
"Nice...really?" he asked with a wild look in his eye. In ten years of knowing him, Sharon wasn't sure that she could place that look. "*Nice? *"
She was being lifted. With a bit of effort, he was beginning to shift forward, intending to stand. Almost bewildered, she clutched at him. "What are you doing, Richard?'
"You have a very nice, strong-looking coffee table..."
"Hard...Richard..." she protested.
"Firm," he countered, gently resting her bottom on the tabletop.
She stopped clinging and put her hand behind her to clear away the newspaper, which dropped to the floor nearly as quickly as her inhibitions. She edged her way backwards as he gently bent to hover over her, slipping one knee up onto the table and re-entering her warm slit, his other leg still touching the floor for support. He thrust into her with surprising force, making her gasp, one hand propping him up against the table, the other smoothing its way over her rear and thigh. His warm breath rustled in her ear. "Too hard?"
"Perfect," she sighed as his body rested more fully against her. She could feel her passion building again. "Firm."
He was filling her, and she knew she was getting wetter, losing control. He kissed her, almost roughly, and she could hear a damp sniffle as his lips attacked hers. She let a moan escape as the sound intensified.
"Hmmm, my dose is very...runny...sniff...makes me want to sneeze," he commented, almost in a teasing way.
"Oh?" she breathed, "oh" being just about all she could manage to say. If he sneezed just then, she thought she might explode with excitement. But he only sniffled again.
"Oh, yeah..." He thrust against her, urgently, as her legs spread more just to accommodate his forceful motions. His skin seemed to burn against her, heated and sweaty, making her tingle from the friction of their bodies. And then, deliciously slowly, he began kissing her, right by her ear, trailing down the side of her face to her neck, and maddeningly, back up again. She could hear the congestion in his breathing. "It could habben...sniff...any minute, dnow..." His body seemed to tighten against hers, exquisitely shuddering. "Any...sniff...huh...minudd..."
She smoothed his hair back with her hand-his forehead was literally bathed in sweat, but his expression was truly gorgeous, lips parted, expectant, and eyes tightly closed. She could tell it was one of those stubborn sneezes that didn't want to come...but god almighty what a build-up she was getting. He opened one eye, the lid jerking, "Eh...ehhh."
"Oh, god," she whispered, involuntarily.
His nostrils flared as he breathed out suddenly.
"Huhh...ESSSSHHHHOO, Shooo. Shhhh," he sneezed, triggering a shock throughout her body.
She tensed against him, throbbing. "Oh, god, Richard."
He wasn't quite done. His body still tight against hers, he inhaled for another strong one, "Huh, ah-HESHH!"
Her body squeezed against his in ecstatic spasms as she moaned aloud, the last sneeze having taken her over the top. She could feel the light spray from it mingling with the sweat on her neck and face. He buried his face against her shoulder, his nose truly runny, now, and bucked his hips against hers with a groan. She pressed her hand against his lower back and tightened the hold of her thighs around his legs and could feel him shake with the force of the tension that was driving him, and then the last long, soulful thrust before she felt the wet burst of his come. She wrapped her arms more fully around him, feeling stirred and amazed by their lovemaking, and began kissing his damp forehead. He lifted his head slightly, accommodating her searching lips, and then sniffed, deeply.
"Oh...yuck," he murmured, realizing how his nose had been running. "I'b sorry..."
"Like I mind, baby," she whispered, and began slipping her arm down to try and find the pocket of his robe.
"Let me up," he gasped. She let him go, and he stood.
"I thig I bust have banged my dnee...um...I thig I have more tissues," he began, searching the pockets. He went back to the chair, found the wad she had shaken loose, and began blowing. Half-heartedly, Sharon sat up, but patted the table.
"I never really appreciated that piece of furniture before," she mused. He chuckled.
"You'll never look at it the same way again."
She looked thoughtful. "And to think, I've all of this other under-appreciated furniture."
"I don't know if your kitchen chairs will hold up to it, but I'm game."
"You're not just a sick man, you're a very sick man," she commented. "I like that about you."
"That tall chest of drawers in your bedroom...sniff...ETISSSHHHA! Sniff, might pose some other problems..." He paused and blew his nose some more, and then looked up. "You know...I could eat."
"You know..." she began, with a sarcastic grin. "I *had * been on my way to call Vinnie's for a pizza."
"Oh yeah...before I interrupted you. Did you mind?"
She stood up, still grinning wickedly. "Not at all." She wrapped her arms around him, and kissed him, deeply. "After all, I really enjoyed the big one."
He laughed. "The sneeze?"
"Nope." And with that, she was off to call up the pizza place.
After making the call, she dragged him up the stairs to wash up. They showered together, the soap and steam making his nose crazy, which, very naturally, resulted in a five-minute quickie in the bathroom, and then the doorbell rang.
"That would be Stavros," Sharon said, breathily, which, all things considered, was only natural.
""Wait... you said that was the owner..."
"Well, he delivers personally when it's me. Could you just throw some cloths on and get the door?'
Richard hesitated, but then got up and did as he was told, which made Sharon smile with pleasure. She got up herself, rather languidly.
"I have to dry my hair," she explained, just as he was throwing back on his jeans and a sweatshirt. He nodded, and ran downstairs.
She went on to dry her hair, and briefly considered, as she was working the blower, whether or not she should provide Richard with any assistance-but of course, that was not the point. Letting Stavros acquaint himself with her new beau was the point. She smiled at the conversation they might be having, and then slipped on-no clothing or pajamas, but rather, took a deep navy blue kimono-style robe from her closet that she was once told made her eyes look particularly dazzling. Fluffing her curls and giving herself one last look in the mirror, she determined that she looked pretty damn good, and sauntered down the stairs-only after hearing the door close, meaning that Stavros had left.
Richard was standing by the chair, still holding the pizza box, and looking a bit confused.
"Sweetie?" she began.
"Stavros sends his love," he said, wryly. "And his respects to your...business partner."
She paused. She had forgotten that it was customary for Stavros to bring up Arthur. He felt the need to explain-but preferred not to.
"You are going to explain-right?" Richard prompted. Sharon continued down the stairs.
"Pizza really smells great, huh? I'm famished."
"How is Arthur your business partner? And what does Stavros' son have to do with anything?"
She grinned. "I'll tell the story, but you probably will think it's weird."
"I'm used to weird from you."
Sharon shrugged. She went past him and continued on to the kitchen, beginning her story. "It began about five years ago-when Arthur and I were an item."
"I vaguely remember that," Richard answered. He *had *, in fact, met Arthur-"Artie", as he could recall Sharon calling him, on a few occasions, and hadn't entirely liked the man. He seemed kind of shallow, and Sharon had positively doted on the guy. Given what he now knew about Sharon, and from what he could remember of Arthur's constant sneezing-it made an uncomfortable kind of sense. "What are you doing, anyway?"
"Getting paper plates. And red pepper...it's good for your nose," she added. "Anyway, we usually went to your three and four star places-not that I minded, but we stopped at Vinnie's after a concert one night-opening night for the orchestra-Beethoven's Ninth, and there was a great..."
"Why is it called Vinnie's if the owner is Stavros?"
"Because Vinnie was the former proprietor, silly," Sharon answered, bringing out the paper plates. "Anyway, that was years ago. Arthur and Stavros and I got to talking, and we learned that he had a little problem with the restaurant and his son. And we figured out a solution. That's all."
"What was the problem?"
Sharon sighed. "It's nothing important."
Richard raised an eyebrow. She caved.
"He wanted his son to go into the business. But Ari-that's his son, turned out to be allergic to flour..."
"It happens-it got up his nose and everything-he couldn't make dough without sneezing something awful. Anyway, we found out he wanted to run a nightclub. So, me and Arthur gave him a hand up. But of course, I haven't really financially helped the kid out...whatever Stavros says. So, since it was Arthur and I that helped him...he considers us business partners."
"Really," Richard answered, at length. "But I guess you see Arthur a lot, then?"
Sharon thought back to earlier that day. She figured it wouldn't be the end of the world if she mentioned what had happened.
"Well, I saw him today, in fact-he * does* occasionally freelance a legal-advice column for the paper."
"Did you help him get that spot?"
She shrugged. Actually, she had. "He kind of came by to see me. See how I was," she said, reluctantly.
"Should I be jealous?" Richard asked, looking very prepared, in fact, to be jealous.
Thinking quickly, she kissed him. "Not at all." She settled into the sofa, put down the paper plates, and reached for the pizza box. "He just said 'hello', you know, the usual. We're very casual, me and Artie."
"Casual, casual? Or casual, FTF?" Richard asked, with a touch of unhealthy curiosity.
Sharon looked aghast as she figured out the last word for herself. "Not even. Where'd you get that one?"
"I worked for a women's magazine for awhile. You learn a thing or two."
"Ew. No. We were an item-then we weren't. Right now, I only have eyes for you...schmuck. You have no business getting jealous-after all, was Ashley or was Ashley not right in this..."
"A-hem," Richard began, clearing his throat. "The pizza's getting cold." He smiled. "So you saw him today. And?"
"I was excited to tell him about how I was with you-believe it or not."
He looked thoughtful at that. "You told him about us?"
"Yeah-shouldn't I tell...everybody?" She looked at him, a little doubtfully. He moved over to the sofa and hugged her.
"Did you tell...um...your mom?" Sharon asked, with trepidation.
"Of course." And then he grinned. "We'll have to have dinner-you, me and mom, soon."
Sharon grinned. "I can't wait." And then, surprisingly, she put her hand up to her face, breathing in for a second.
"Are you all right?"
She sniffled, briefly. "For a minute, I thought I was going to sneeze."
"You might be catching what I've got. Maybe I'll be taking care of you, next."
"I don't know," she answered. "I usually never get sick."
"Is that right?" Richard asked. And then, somewhat sheepishly, he added. "I wouldn't mind hearing you sneeze."
"What?" she asked.
"Well, I listened to Ashley...and I think I know...um...what the appeal is. So I thought I'd like to hear you sneeze," he explained, getting a little red.
"I don't do it a lot, really. Not even when I'm sick. You might be disappointed."
"I bet you sneeze cute."
"Want to bet?" she responded, challengingly. "I...I don't know...want to hear one?"
"I can make myself, you know."
"What-with pepper?" he asked, seeming very interested. She smiled, and shook her head.
"That never works. Hold on...I'll show you." She got up and got a tissue, leaving him a little bewildered. "This is the thing that works with me," she explained, rolling up the tissue to a sharp point.
"What are you doing?"
"Making myself sneeze-you wanted to see it, right?" She took the sharp point of the tissue, and without further ado, stuck it up her right nostril. "This usually works," she said, and then slowly seemed to be working it back and forth, until she breathed in, sharply, and then, "EEEEAAAASHHHH-hooooooo," sneezed, fiercely.
"Wow," he said, a bit surprised by the display.
"I don'd like it, byself. Sniff," she said, and then blew. "I'm kind of sneeze-deficient. That's the besd I can do."
"It was...fine," he said, feeling mildly horny.
"It's okay if you didn't like it...I mean, some people only like them...natural."
"Colds, allergies, whatever. Natural."
He kissed her, intensely. "I'd actually like to see that again. Upstairs. In bed. We can take the pizza."
"Cool. Pizza in bed."
"Well, I'd feel weird using the coffee table-I know where it's been."