The Surprise

Night Owl

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Jen knew how lucky she was to have gotten the job at the Gigantiplex. It was a huge building located in the suburbs of Chicago, housing every entertainment option you could imagine. It had started as a bar, but through a little imagination (and a lot of money), it had expanded beyond anyone's wildest dreams. The bar section, called Adultland, had quadrupled in size from its original dimensions: it was now a bar packed with video games, pool tables, pinball tables, dart boards, and a miniature golf course, w ith television sets and bars everywhere. The waitresses all wore thongs under gauzy miniskirts and tops that could barely be considered bras. There was also Teenland, a all-ages version of Adultland, and Kiddieland, complete with ball pools and babysitters . There was a small mall inside as well, and a theatre had just finished construction. Next up would be batting cages, a roller skating rink, and a go-kart track (although that was under heavy debate since alcohol was served on the premises). In short, it was the ultimate hangout.

Jen had been laid off two months before from her job managing a small restaurant when it had gone belly-up in a soft economy. She had managed to rebound a lot quicker than she had expected by landing a gig as the waitress manager in Adultland, a job previously held by a guy named Nick. He had also been in charge of managing the entire Adultland complex, and upper management had decided that it had become far too much for one person to handle and that the waitresses needed a female manager to report to. Jen had answered an ad and been hired pretty much on the spot. She worked evenings alongside Nick, who was glad to have the help, and she was thrilled with the opportunity. The girls had been wonderful, the pay was a big increase from her old job, and she got to flirt with Nick all night long. She loved it.

The hours also provided an extra bonus: her fiancee, Tim, who she now regretted accepting an engagement ring from, worked daytime hours, so when she got home she could go online and cruise the sneezing fetish websites. She loved the sound of a good sneeze, female or male, and enjoyed her own sneezes just as much. She would read stories or plug a set of headphones into her computer speakers and watch a short movie or listen to a wav and masturbate before going to bed. She was definitely a lurker; she rarely posted on any of the message boards, and although the idea of recording her own sneezes and posting them so some anonymous guy or girl could find release listening to them was a huge turn-on, she never actually went through with it. She was far too paranoid that someone would track her and find out her little secret to do anything but leave rare and random postings about observations or VCR alerts she spotted. She had bought a couple of homemade sneezing tapes online, both male and female, when she had been living alone, and they were locked in the back of a drawer in her desk, under a mess of papers.

After two months at the Gigantiplex, she had yet to see Nick sneeze, and she couldn't wait. She felt safe flirting with him; she was engaged and he lived with his girlfriend, but she had made herself come more than once imagining making love to him or hearing him sneeze. He was tall and dark, with short, spiky hair and a goatee, and she loved his personality and self-deprecating humour. She was over a foot shorter than he was, with long blonde hair, but she felt that they would match up perfectly. She had always felt self-conscious about her breast size (even more so around the gigantic implants of the waitresses), but none of her boyfriends had given her anything but rave reviews. Her nipples got hard very easily, so she was forced to wear bras with extra padding, and that helped a little, but the expanse of flesh on view in Adultland could make her feel uneasy. She contented herself with the knowledge that her ass was better than any on display.

One night, she was standing in one of the waitresses' service wells talking to Nick, who was behind the bar, when she her sinuses flared up. She released three wet sneezes after a painful build-up, and stifled a fourth to prevent a full-fledged fit from erupting. When her head had cleared, Nick blessed her in a mock-impressed voice, and they both laughed. Desperate to hear him at least discuss his sneezing, she feigned a tickle in her nose.

"Oh, man, I feel another one coming," she moaned, squinting dramatically and thanking the maker they were alone for the moment. "I hate that feeling!"

Nick laughed. "I know! It's like: Ah...ah...damn!" They both laughed again. "Look at the light, that works for me," he offered.

Looking at a light would make her sneeze when one was stuck or when emerging from a dark room into sunlight, but she knew it wouldn't work this time, since no real sneeze was forthcoming. Still, she stared gamely upwards, faked a couple of deep pre-sneeze breaths (badly, she feared), then shook her head and rubbed her nose. "Nope," she said with a sniffle, "it's gone." By now, two waitresses had arrived in the well and a bartender had wandered down to serve them, so the conversation ended flatly as Nick helped mix drinks at the other end of the bar.

One of the waitresses, Tami, tilted a head so blonde it was practically white at Jen and asked, "Stuck sneeze?"

"Yeah," sniffled Jen, "but it went away."

"Oh, that's so frustrating! I hate that! I hate losing a sneeze!"

"Oh, no," said Kathy, the other waitress. "I just hate to sneeze. I always say the words 'peanut butter' three times when I think I' m gonna sneeze, and it goes away."

"Really?" squealed Tami. "Peanut butter? And it works?"

"Usually," nodded Kathy. "Peanut butter or mayonnaise. I get some funny looks, though. Like, I'm going Hah, hah - peanut butter, peanut butter, peanut butter!" All three laughed.

"Ohmigod, I cannot wait to need to sneeze again," laughed Tami. "Everybody thinks I'm a ditz anyway, so yelling out bizarre phrases won't surprise them at all!" The waitresses, trays full, wandered off, and Jen blew her nose in a napkin with a smile.

The conversation had left her so keyed up that she couldn't wait to get home and go online. Of course, she got stuck at work late, dealing with a drunken customer who had made a grab for the ass of Tami, the platinum blonde ditz. While consoling Tami in the locker room, after having the customer booted, the waitress cried so hard for so long it degenerated in a coughing spell, which led to an impossibly tiny sneeze. They both laughed (Jen secretly hating the forced cuteness of Tami's sneeze), and then the waitress forgot her tears and got animated and bubbly again.

"Oh, oh!" she squeaked. "Here comes another one! Peanut butter, puh-peanut butter, uh -ah-ahhh -CHEW!" As they laughed, Jen felt herself growing more excited. The remaining paperwork was done haphazardly, and she sped home, still getting there nearly ninety minutes later than usual. She quietly stripped in the bedroom, careful not to awaken Tim, and slipped into a robe. Down in the living room she logged on and checked her favourite forum for any messages that would let her cut loose and release the orgasm that was begging for release. She needed words, something to make her come so hard that she would shake the house.

The first few observations that had recently been posted left her cold. There was no description of the sneeze sound, something she loved. The final new posting, only thirty minutes old, was titled 'F Obs - Hot!' , and she opened it. As she read, she felt herself blush and felt as though she was floating away. It read:

'At work, tonight, I finally got to see this girl I have been waiting for a sneeze from really cut loose! She's about 5' 2", blonde, with an amazingly tight body, and we were just talking when her eyes got a very faraway look in them and her mouth opened a little. I asked her if she was okay, and she just shook her head, help up a finger, and made a little noise, like "Mmmm." She squinted her eyes, her whole face crinkled up as she took in this massive breath, and she just exploded into these three massive sneezes, like "HUSSSSSHH! HUSSSSSSHAH! HUH-HESSSSHHH-WOOO!" into her hand. She took one more huge breath and stifled a sneeze with a painful-sounding "Huh-HMMP!" I blessed her, and she immediately reared back again and said "I feel another one," and began waving her hand under her nose, breathing heavy, and rolling her eyes. It was a good thing I was standing behind something, because it was the most exciting thing I have ever seen. I helpfully suggested that she look at a light, and she tried, but the sneeze went away. She has such a huge sneeze for such a little nose, and watching her fight to sneeze drove me nuts. I cannot wait to see more!


Jen sat motionless, and reread the posting, There was no question, it had to be her! It was just too much! But was it Nick, or had one of three bartenders in that bar overheard her? She looked at the screen name again: SnzFan. No help there. She clicked on the icon to read his profile, but it didn't give his real name. She didn't expect it to, but it did list his home as 'Suburban Chicago'. Her stomach and throat were tight with excitement, and she read the responses: just the usual 'Nice obs' and 'Post more' stuff. She clicked on his e-mail address and a 'Write Mail' box popped up obediently. She sat for several minutes, fingers on the keyboard, until she lost her nerve. It might not be her, she thought, or it was a bartender who overheard it and lied to make it sound like he had talked to her after she sneezed. And even if it was Nick, so what? What would happen of she confronted him? He could get defensive and then her secret would be out there, everywhere. Of course, his would as well, but she was unwilling to make the risk on her part.

She was aroused to the point of distraction by the thought of Nick getting hard listening to her sneeze, and she came almost as soon as she slid a finger down between her lips. She shuddered for a moment afterwards, her mind and body jelly, and when she finally fell asleep, her dreams were of she and Nick making love in a huge white bed, both sneezing and laughing. When she woke up, Tim was at work and she read the posting again and masturbated again, coming even harder than the night before.

That night at work, she was cotton-mouthed and tongue-tied whenever she and Nick interacted. She was watching him for any little sign, hoping and praying he would somehow give himself away. Finally she formulated a plan and worked up the courage to see it through. She found Nick watching a technician check an old and battered pinball machine and approached him. Her hands were sweating, and she felt deliriously light-headed.

"Hey, Nick. Did you hear about my night after you left?" she asked, hoping she sounded casual.

He grinned. "Tami's admirer? Yeah, I'm sorry missed that."

She sniffled audibly and wriggled her nose as if it itched. "Well, can you come to my office and look at the incident report? I've only done a couple of them and I want to make sure I covered all of the bases." She rubbed her nose hard with the palm of her hand and sniffled again.

Nick glanced at the tech, then back at Jen. "Sure, sure. He can finish this up without me." They began walking towards a locked employee door. He opened it with his key and held it for her. "Stupid thing keeps losing balls somewhere." Jen nodded and sniffled loudly again (worrying that they sounded too dry) and scratched at the side of her nose.

In her office, behind closed doors, she handed him the report and sat behind her desk as he sat in a chair facing it. As he read it, she sniffled repeatedly and absentmindedly rubbed under her nose with her index finger. Finally, after she dabbed at it with a tissue, he looked up from the sheet in his hands and took the bait.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, it's nothing. I have just been sneezing my head off all day, and now there's one stuck." She sniffled again.

"Boy, maybe you're allergic to me or something."

"Huh?" she asked, feigning innocence. Her pulse was pounding in head so loudly she was afraid he could hear it.

"After last night, you know, sneezing in the well and all."

"Oh, no. Just a cold, a little tickle, something." She rolled her eyes up toward the ceiling and squinted at a light, waving her hand under her nose and breathing deeply. "Just...h-hate this...feeling."

"I hate it when it happens when I'm driving. I just keep trying to make it come out, but my eyes get all watery and I can't see the road. Then I start sneezing so many times in a row I can't breathe, and I'm afraid I'm just going cause a massive accident or something."

She started to laugh, then took three huge breaths and muffled a fake sneeze into her tissue. Thinking it sounded okay, she faked two more.

Nick crossed his legs and smiled. "Bless you."

"Oh, thank you, thank you. You know what they say, that's the next best thing to an orgasm or something." Af raid she had gone too far, she changed the subject to the report (just great, he assured her), and then went back to her job, her stomach in knots and her panties soaked.

And there it was, on the message board that night, a new message from SnzFan. Titled 'Another Hot F Obs', it read:

'Well, tonight was almost as good as last night! The hot blonde I saw sneeze last night found me at work and asked me to come to her office to check some paperwork. All the way there, she kept sniffing and twitching her nose like something was really bugging her. I was waiting for her to sneeze, but finally asked her if she was okay. She said she had a little tickle and a sneeze was stuck in her nose. I was hard in an instant, and then she stifled three great sneezes into a tissue: "Ahh-ahh-ahhhh-KCMP! KCHMP! Hah-KCMP!". She said that was the next best thing to an orgasm, and I was about ready to continue talking about sneezing, but she changed the subject and I didn't want to seem obsessed. What a great couple of nights - I hope she's catching a cold!


Jen came twice as she read it, and then sat in the chair trying to figure out her next move. She searched the board for other postings from him and found two, one about one of the waitresses (from the description, it sounded like Deb, a gorgeous Asian girl with monstrous build-ups who never covered her mouth and always sprayed everywhere with, in SnzFan's words, a "Ahh-Kuh-Etchoooo!" ) and one of his current girlfriend. Jen came again reading the description of Nick's girlfriend, who was painted as a statuesque blonde who once spent five minutes looking at the sun out the window, then starting to sneeze, then lost it and went back to the window, over and again until she "HESSSHHH" -ed into the crook of her arm. She felt guilty as she came, but she came nonetheless.

For two weeks she suffered dreams about him, both sex and sneezing ones. They began to spend more time together at work, and she realised her feelings, once just lust-based, were now becoming quite genuine. He never sneezed, but she didn't either. He mentioned her sneezes once, and they laughed it off and moved on. It was halfway through the third week when it happened. Jen caught a cold.

This was no surprise. It was January, and half of the waitresses were sick. Their skimpy outfits simply did not lend themselves to good health. Deb had been sneezing everywhere, never covering her face, and at least five or six other waitresses had caught it from her. The locker room echoed with the sneezes of the sick, cute little silicone sisters with itchy noses after spending far too much time in there, listening and enjoying, Jen came down with it.

And it started on her day off, a sore throat and congestion, but very little sneezing. On her second day off, the stuffiness and aches intensified, but there was still hardly any sneezing. She returned to work only hoping to jump start another sneezy conversation with Nick, really wishing she could stay home in bed. The smoky air just set her off, and she was miserable (but sneeze-free) for the shift. Nick, however, stayed glued to her through every cough and nose-blow. Finally, he got her some tea and lemon from the bar and took her back to her office. They sat in the chairs in front of her desk as she sipped gingerly.

"This sucks," she moaned. "I should have stayed home."

"Yeah, it's no fun being sick," he replied. He continued talking, but she was only half-listening, aware of a truly gigantic sneeze forming at the base of her spine. She held a hand up to stop him from chatting as the sneeze quickly came over her.

"H-hold on. I've really gotta sneeze here." It grew like a snowball rolling down Mount Everest, and she shredded her tissue with a "Huh-HESSSSSHH!"

"Bless you," Nick said, handing her the tissue box. His words sounded far away. The left side her of her nose crinkled up with a massive tickle, and she could not keep her face from becoming slack. The desire to sneeze was massive, but it stayed firmly wedged in place. Nick licked his lips nervously as Jen's breath began to hitch. Her left nostril vibrated as the muscles contracted in a massive tickle.

"Ah God...heh...heh...gotta, go-hotta...sneeze...heh...heh..." she had never felt so much like sneezing, and she could not control a muscle in her body. The tickle was maddening, frustrating, and unbearably arousing. The hitching went on for nearly a minute, until the sneeze finally let go of her nostrils. "Heh...heh...oh - Oh! - HEH-SSSSSSSSHH! HAAAAHSSSSSSSHHH! Hehuh-hehuh-hehheh- HAHAHTCHOOOOOO! Fuck! CHOOOOOO!" She sneezed into a handful of tissue, snot and spit flying. Nick sat motionless, unable to move. Their eyes locked, and Jen knew her moment had come. Nick leaned forward, as if sensing what was coming. Before she could chicken out, she said, "Nick, you know I've been having dreams about you." It was not quite a question and not quite a statement, and accordingly, Nick did not respond. Suddenly interrupted by aftershocks, she continued speaking. "I am truly attracted to you, and I have...have - HUHESSSSSSSSHHAH! - have been having fu-fu-fuESSSSSHHHH-HOOOO! - feelings about you. And I know I read something I think wrote on a, a, a - SKMP! - a website about my snu-huh-huh..." Racking with an impending sneeze, she faltered and froze, trying to hold back the sneeze long enough to finish talking. Nick was looking at her face, which was wrinkled in delicious agony, and sweating. "My snaahhh...snaaa...snee - sneez - sneezinGA-ASHHHOOOOO! I read it." Exhausted, her nose ablaze, she stopped talking.

Nick leaned for ward, put his hands in her hair, and kissed her. She smiled just as his lips met hers, and the kiss seemed to last forever. One hand dropped to her breast and pushed there, hungrily, as their tongues mingled together. The kiss grew, became more passionate , and he half rose from his seat and lay atop her. Finally she put a hand on his chest pushed him away and exploded over his shoulder, spraying his shirt and the desk.

"AAAASHHHHH! Oh my God. Is this - HSSSSSSSSSH-CHUHOO! Oh! Is this how it starts?"

"Yeah," Nick said quietly, smiling. "I think it is. It starts like this."