"I can't wait 'till we get there!" said an excited Sheldon.
"We'll have a great time, babe," answered Andres. "There's just one teeny-weeny problem. See, Tio Raul doesn't know we're gay, so you and I will have to have separate bedrooms."
"What?" shouted a distraught Sheldon, bringing the back of his hand to his forehead. "Separate bedrooms? Oh Andres, what kind of vacation is this going to be? When will we get a chance to be together?"
"Geez! You sound like you can't live without sex for even a little while," Andres complained, rolling his eyes.
"Yeah, well, you're not the one dating a supremely gorgeous and wonderful man." Sheldon paused, then forced a smile. "Oh no wait, you are too." As expected, Andres smiled in turn. Sheldon continued, "Oh, and I suppose you have so much self control that you can live without sex?"
"I can live without sex longer than you can live without seeing me sneeze," his lover challenged.
"Oh really? You think you can go without sex longer than I can go without sneezes? Care to put your money where your luscious mouth is?"
"Sure," Andres answered. "I'll bet you a thousand bucks that I can go without sex longer than you can go without seeing me sneeze."
"You've got yourself a bet, mister," Sheldon retorted.
"Just to teach Sheldon a lesson I'm going to have to see to it that he loses this bet," Andres said to himself. "That means I'll have to make him somehow try to make me sneeze, and thereby lose the bet. This should be child's play!"
The first few days at the ranch passed uneventfully. Sheldon had not once tried to make Andres sneeze. Although they were both enjoying their sexless/sneezeless days of relaxing open-aired bliss, Andres was secretly working on a plan that would ensure that he would win their bet.
The next day, Sheldon was out in the barn grooming the horses. Andres sneaked into the barn wearing nothing but a pair of stonewashed jeans and a straw hat. The jeans were ridiculously tight, perfectly outlining his well-muscled thighs and a shapely rear in such a way as to make any healthy gay man's resolve crumble in a second, but Andres knew that he had to try to tempt Sheldon into making him sneeze. More than anything, he wanted to win their bet and and show up his lover just this once.
"Hi Shelly," said Andres, putting on a phoney yet
remarkably accurate Spanish accent. He was trying to sound like Antonio
Banderas, whom he knew Shelon had a
Sheldon looked up and his eyes almost sprang out of their sockets when he saw Andres standing there, looking more gorgeous than he'd ever seen him before. After a moment, he regained his breath and most of his composure, managing to find words.
"You're pathetic, Andres! Did you think you could trick me into trying to make you sneeze? Go back inside and put on some real clothes before your Tio Raul comes out and sees you dressed like that. Then he'll know for sure that you're gay."
In a mock-huff, Sheldon traversed the barn to pick up a bale of hay. His thoughts were still spinning with images of Andres so that he lifted it wrong, and started to fall backwards. Rushing over, Andres caught Sheldon before he could fall and really hurt himself. Yet as Andres caught him, Sheldon's ass backed right into Andres' crotch. Sheldon tried to regain his footing, but his rear was still rubbing against Andres's cock as he fumbled. That and the too-tight jeans conspired to give Andres a terrible erection. On top of everything, Sheldon then hugged Andres as a thanks for catching him and breaking his fall.
Andres and Sheldon had not had sex in over a week, and almost without realizing it Andres just grabbed Sheldon and started kissing him. He didn't realize how excited he was and how good Sheldon felt next to him, hugging him, rubbing against him…
Suddenly, and to his horror, Andres exploded.
It only took a few seconds before Sheldon felt Andres' warm wettness seeping through his jeans. "Welcome back, lover!" he cried as he began kissing Andres to his heart's content. "You know what this means, don't you?"
"Yes. It means that you won the bet," Andres replied, his voice like a wronged child's.
"You're only half right, lover," Sheldon smiled. "It also means this!"
Saying that, Sheldon smacked the nearest horse's rear, causing the horse to flick its tail in response. This set off a soft cloud of dust that quickly seemed to encircle Andres' head.
"Snifff… Oh, you… sniff… son of a .... ahh ahhh AHHH… now I'm gah- gahh- gonna sneeze!"
Just then, Tio Raul was heard shuffling outside the barn.
"Oh no! Sniffffff! If Tio Raul sees me here with you and these stained jeans... Aaaahhhhh… Sniff… He'll find out I'm gay and disinherit me! AHHHH… AHHHHH… What caaa- caaaa… can I do? SNIFFFFFFFFFF!"
Andres stood there, leaning on the door to the horse's gage for support. He had a huge, still wet come stain on his way-too-tight jeans. His perfect body was glistening in the streaks of sunlight filtering through into the barn, and his gorgeous nose was rapidly reddening with a terrible tickle which he wouldn't be able to contain much longer.
"No, Andres, NO! DON'T SNEEZE!" said Sheldon. "You'll give us both away!"
"Haaa… Haaaaaa… Haaaaa…. Sniff! So sorry- sniff- Shell... HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! -Sniff- Oh no! HAAAAA… HAAAAAAAAA SHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Andres thunderous sneezes echoed throughout the barn again and again, and he was powerless to stop them despite his fear of being overheard by Tio Raul.
"Sniff! HAAA… HAAAAA… HAAAAAAAASHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
"Bless you," was all Sheldon could say before he broke
into a huge smile.
"What are you so ha- haaa… Haaaashoooooo! Happy about, Shell? If Tio Raul finds us here, we're dead ducks! Sniffffff… Oh no, not another… HAAASHOOOOOOOO! Sniff - haa… Haaaa… HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA…"
Sheldon took Andres in one arm and put his finger under his trembling nose with the other. Slowly, the redness began to subside from Andres' nose.
"My prince! You were some sight there; you should have seen yourself. I know I'll never forget that image! Drool!"
"What do you mean?" Andres shouted, furious. "If Tio Raul comes in here and finds us, you know he'll disinherit me from his will!"
"You fool!" Sheldon couldn't contain his laughter any longer. "You gorgeous fool. You don't get it do you? Tio Raul lives out here in the middle of nowhere with a dozen hunky Mexican ranch hands for company. Ever notice that is no Tia Raul? What do you suppose that means?"
"You mean Tio Raul..." Andres was incredulous.
"As a goose," Sheldon nodded wisely, capping off his lover's hanging sentence. "Not only that, but he knows you and I are lovers as well. He asked me the first night we were here why we weren't sleeping in the same room."
"Why didn't you tell me about this?" Andres demanded.
"Because you were so gung ho on our little bet- for which you still owe me $1000 by the way- that I wanted to try and show you up. And you provided me with the best opportunity to do it by coming in here in those tight, tight jeans. After that, it was all too easy. Fake a fall, rub against you 'til you come, kick up some horsetail dust to make you sneeze... It was all so perfect!" Sheldon looked as though he were about to start jumping around with glee.
"Why you son of a bitch," said an astounded Andres as he grabbed Sheldon in a fiery embrace and took him into the hayloft. "I might owe you a thousand, but for now, you and I have to catch up on some serious loving!