Be Careful What You Wish For


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One- Getting It 

As the old adage goes: you might get it. And Sheldon certainly thought he had. He couldn't believe his luck- and who could blame him? He had just landed the world's biggest men's underwear account. Whichever way you looked at it, this was good news. 

His firm of McTate and Mann was to handle the advertising of the successful ADAYNO HUNK line of men's exotic underwear. Sheldon also was to direct and oversee the smooth production of filming the TV and print commercials for the line. To make matters even more sublime, he had pulled a few very welcome strings, and negotiated the hiring of the world's most famous male model, a universally worshipped specimen of gorgeousness known only to the world as "Byron" to be the "Adayno Hunk," a title which he richly deserved, in Sheldon's estimation, and for once, the rest of the world agreed with him that Byron was, in all probability, the most gorgeous specimen of manhood living on the planet today. Outrageous urban myths flooded Sheldon's office, titillating him beyond belief, that Byron was so stunning he'd turned the most Neanderthal of straight men into fully-fledged queens, and those men already confirmed in their gayness just fainted away at the merest sight of him. 

But one person, of course, wasn't jumping for joy. 

The very morning that work on the advertising shoot was about to start, Sheldon was changing his cufflinks for the seventh time while simultaneously coping with a horrendous hair crisis magnified by his insecurity at meeting this divine being, when Andres, clad only in a white towel, the powerful muscles of his olive-skinned shoulders and chest iridescent from his morning shower, came to stand in the door of their bedroom, pouting like a pin-up of Latin gorgeousness, and watched Sheldon critically for a long moment. 

Then he said simply, "I don't like this."

"What?" said Sheldon distractedly, dropping a cufflink down the back of his dressing table and fighting back the urge to scream. 

"I don't like you working with Byron," replied Andres, his voice uncharacteristically muted. 

"It's my job, honey."

"I know. But…"

"But, what? I landed the account for McTate and Mann, and I'm the one who's going to see that everything runs perfectly. Besides, have you any idea how much the firm's invested in this ad campaign? Adayno Hunk will pay me enough to set us up for life!"

"I know, I know, but why do you have to work with Byron? I mean…" Andres leaned despondently against the doorframe, "Can't you be a behind-the-scenes director?"

"Why, Andres," Sheldon turned a dazzling smile on his lover, "I do believe you're jealous!"

"Me, jealous? Ha!" Andres walked into the room, shaking back his luscious dark hair in a gesture of nonchalance and almost losing his towel- even in his Byron-inspired reverie, Sheldon could hardly fail to notice. "And double HA!" he added, flinging himself sulkily down on the bed.

"Really, Andres, you're being silly."

"I'm not the one who's all dressed up for him," Andres pouted. 

"Oh, you don't really believe all this hype about Byron, do you? He's only human. And probably not nearly as nice a human as you…" Sheldon added, in a conciliatory tone. 

"No I guess not. You're right, Shell."

Andres rubbed at his nose. "I was just being silly. It's just that where you're concerned I get all..." he sniffed, "Huh… Oh no!"

For the first time that morning, Andres had all of his attention. 

"What is it, love?" asked Sheldon, moving closer to the bed, a strangely predatory light in his eyes as he stared at his lover. 

Andres' eyes were shiny with anguish. "What is that cologne you're wearing?"

"It's new," Sheldon admitted shamefacedly. "It's not- I didn't put it on for Byron or anything. Freebie from the firm. Are you…"

"To hell with Byron," Andres cried, "I-it's tickling my nose!"

Sheldon stood, rooted to the spot, staring fixedly at Andres as he furiously rubbed his nose. 

"I- I'm gonna sneeze!" Andres sniffed heavily. "Ohhh, my nose!… Ehhhhhhh...EHHHH… EEEEEESSSHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

This sudden, unexpected explosion from Andres brought forth all of Sheldon's desires. He flung himself down on the bed, grabbed Andres and began kissing him passionately. Before he could stop himself, he'd torn away his lover's towel. 

Naked and playful, entirely aware of his power, Andres stretched out on the rumpled sheets, allowing Sheldon to indulge himself in every part of his divine anatomy.

"You've got to go to work, haven't you?" he said teasingly. 

Sheldon looked for the hundredth time at the clock by the bed. Then he turned back to Andres. 

Fuck it. 

Models were always late anyway. 

Two: Getting It Started

"Bye, baby," said Sheldon to a more reassured Andres, as he was heading out of the door. "Good luck in court today. Hope the jury comes back with a verdict for your client."

Sheldon had been right about his own new client's unpunctuality- he had gotten to the studio before Byron had even shown up. 

"What's the big deal about one Swede?" thought Sheldon to himself, as he settled in for the day. "After all, how can anybody be more handsome than Andres? He can't be!"

Right on schedule, Byron's entourage showed up. Sheldon waited to finally get a look at Byron, still trying to convince himself that he wouldn't be smitten. "I'll bet he's probably some anaemic kid who just happens to be very photogenic. It's amazing what a bit of makeup can do in advertising," he said, under his breath. 

Just then the stage door opened, and in walked Byron. 

Sheldon gasped. "It's all true! Every word of it! He's indescribable!" he thought, believing for a moment that he was about to faint, but he somehow managed to contain himself as he went over to greet his company's… hunk.

"Hello, my name is Sheldon of McTate and Mann. I'm the director of this series of commercials. I'm delighted to meet you."

"Nice to meet you too, Sheldon" answered Byron, as he extended his hand to Sheldon. "So you run the show around here?"

"So to speak," Sheldon replied. "Anything you want, just come to see me about it."

"Thanks, Sheldon, I will. Well, I guess I had better get ready for the shoot." With that, Byron headed off to the dressing rooms to get into the sexy underwear for that day's shoot. 

"Wow! He is too gorgeous!" thought Sheldon to himself "But I'll be okay- so long as he doesn't sneeze. So what if he's gorgeous? I have my own superhunk at home. And Andres is not only gorgeous, but intelligent too. He's the fastest rising lawyer in his firm."

Soon, Sheldon had to go into Byron's dressing room to see if he was ready for the shoot. Byron was standing there in a pair of dental-floss thin string thongs-the hottest selling item in the Adayno Hunk line. He was almost too beautiful to describe, but Sheldon still eagerly catalogued the features of his splendour.

Six feet, two inches tall. 

Flawless, chiselled physique.

Soft, brown shoulder length hair. 

Flawless creamy white skin. 

Full, sensual lips, and an upturned nose. 

Sheldon felt himself weakening every moment he looked at this man. 

"Hi, Sheldon," said Byron. "I'll be ready for our shoot in a minute. Henry's just putting the finishing touches to my makeup."

With that, Henry began to apply a light coat of face powder to Byron's shiny nose. He was a bit too nervous working around this gorgeous hunk, and applied the brush strokes too lightly. Several times, he breezed them under Byron's perfect nose. 

Byron sniffed. Sheldon stiffened. 

"Oh no!" Byron exclaimed. "Your face powder went up my nose!… HUUHH… HUUUUUUUUUHH!"

Sheldon couldn't believe this sight. The world's most gorgeous man was standing right in front of him nearly naked, and he was about to sneeze! 


Byron was doubled over with the force of his sneeze, but he quickly righted himself. He shook his head to get his hair out of his face, and gently began to rub his finger under his nose as he looked sheepishly at Sheldon. He then suddenly sniffed deeply, and gulped hard, rubbing his nose more violently. But it was no good. His perfect nose was quickly overtaken by another vicious tickle. 

He began to heave his chest heavily, and then he was overtaken by the sneeze. 


And another one came.

"HAAAIIIIIEEEEEESSSSSHHHUUUU!" He sniffed loudly. "Oh please… sniff …excuse me."

Sheldon had to fight to remain conscious. He felt sure he would black out at any moment. Thank God that he and Andres had had that early morning lovemaking episode. He hung fast to thoughts of Andres to sustain him, and luckily they brought him back to reality. 

"Steady, Sheldon! Steady!" he told himself again and again. 

"Sorry about that, Sheldon," said Byron. "I have a super-sensitive nose. Any little thing can set it off..."

"No problem," said Sheldon, as he offered Byron some tissues. "I'll see to it that all irritants are kept to a minimum."

This was said not out of kindness to Byron, but to himself. The last thing he needed was to have this hunk sneezing around him all day. He knew he would be unable to withstand such exquisite torture. 

"You're very kind, Sheldon" said Byron. "You really seem like a very… special man."

Sheldon had lost track of what Byron was saying. All he could see was this gorgeous hunk in a string thong. 

Then he noticed that a very prominent bump was beginning to form in Byron's thong. Sheldon needed a drink of cold water desperately! 

Then suddenly Byron's poor nose filled with another massive tickle- the last of the face powder didn't seem to be out yet. His mouth opened wide as he inhaled to his great chest's capacity. 

"HUUUUUUUUUUUUTTSSSHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" he exploded, and as he did, his very erect member slid out from his thong. He sniffed. "Oh, sorry. That always happens... snifff.... after I sneeze when I have an erection."

"Your sneezes give you an erection?" asked Sheldon, before he could hold the question back. 

"No… it's the man I'm with who usually gives me the erection. The right man, I mean." 

With that, Byron flashed Sheldon the smile that made him famous, and Sheldon knew he was in trouble. 

Three: Getting It Perfect

Time was speeding by. Today was only the first day of the photo-shoot starring Byron as the 'Adayno Hunk.' It had cost Sheldon's firm of McTate and Mann the gross national product of a small country to acquire Byron as their model, but they were certain that with this gorgeous hunk as their spokesperson that the sales of the 'Adayno Hunk' line of male erotic underwear would go through the roof. 

Sheldon had seen to it that everything would run perfectly. He took care that every one of Byron's needs and wants were met. He didn't want an unhappy model on his hands. Sheldon did his job well. 

Too well.

It seems Byron mistook Sheldon's attentions for affection, and was beginning to have feelings for him. 

Sheldon had no time to worry about these feelings; all he wanted to do was finish his assignment, and hopefully handle Byron's misplaced emotions later. 

It was going perfectly. 

And then Mako- Mako, the world's most famous fashion photographer, stopped shooting and said loudly, "it's just not there."

"What do you mean?" demanded Sheldon, feeling more harassed by the second. 

"There's no fire! No essence! No… oomph! He's just… there, like a beautiful statue, but there's no depth of soul!"

"Mako," Sheldon reasoned frantically, "you're the world's most famous photographer- and deservedly so! No one is better than you! You have to do something!"

"What can I do? Some days the magic just isn't there. Perhaps tomorrow's shoot will be better."

"We can't delay this shoot for another 24 minutes, let alone another 24 hours!"

Sheldon walked over- reluctantly- to his model. "Are you feeling all right, Byron? Is there anything wrong? Anything I can do to make you more comfortable or to make this shoot easier?"

"No, Sheldon" answered Byron "Everything is fine here. I don't know why Mako is unhappy. I'm modelling just as I always model."

Sheldon was baffled. Indeed, nothing was wrong with Byron's appearance. He was breathtakingly gorgeous, naked save for the dental floss thin bikini he was almost wearing. He was lying on his right side, supposedly on a beach, where he was all alone. The theme of the photo-shoot was to be that anyone who wore the 'ADAYNO HUNK' line of men's erotic beach wear/underwear collection would be so stunningly beautiful that they would seem to be the only person in the world, even though they may be among a crowd of people. 

"Hmm. Are you sure you're okay Byron? Are you willing to continue with this shoot?"

"I'm fine, Sheldon. Yes, I want to continue, but I just don't know what more I can do to make Mako happy."

"Let me handle Mako then. You just concentrate on looking good, which should be no problem for someone as gorgeous as yourself-"

Sheldon could have bit his own tongue out even as he uttered those words. He didn't want to give Byron any idea that he did indeed notice how beautiful he was. But it was too late now. 

"Sheldon," purred Byron, "You always seem to say the right thing to me."

Sheldon went back to Mako. Quickly. 

"What do we do now?" asked the photographer. 

"Hmm… I think I may have an idea... Mako, do you have your super high speed, high definition camera with you?"

"Of course! Those are my life's blood!"

"Will you do as I say, without questions?"

"Of course."

"Okay," said Sheldon, nervous with the weight and excitement of what he was about to do, "I want you to start taking pictures, and keep taking them. Don't stop! No matter what happens, keep shooting those pictures okay?"

"You got it Shel," answered Mako, winking.

With that Sheldon went into the dressing room and found some old, extremely cheap cologne. 

He came back into the studio, instructed Mako to begin shooting, and Byron to begin posing in the sexiest manner he knew how. In a moment, Mako was fast at work taking photographs. 

Sheldon had moved into a position behind Mako where he was hidden from Byron's sight by the lights. While Byron was laying there looking luscious, (but not luscious enough to Mako the perfectionist), Sheldon shot three quick sprays of the cologne at Byron. He remembered Byron's remark about having a super sensitive nose, and he hoped that his plan would make Byron sneeze. 

Byron lay on the 'sand' on his right side, looking at some imaginary object on the beach. His perfect body was outstretched with his right arm under his head. Just then he started to smell the cologne. 


A moment later-


After that sneeze Byron tried to sit upright. He threw his head back and flicked the hair out of his chiselled perfection of a face. Just as he threw his head back, his incredible nose was overtaken by a fresh rush of sneezes.


After this round, Byron brought his right hand up to his head. He pushed away the hair from his eyes and gently began to rub his finger underneath his trembling nose. 


By this time, Byron was on his knees with his arms behind him pressing down into the sand for support. As he leaned back on his arms he again flicked his soft, brown hair out of his face. His hair was now hanging back and his face was looking upwards. He looked beautiful.

But his perfect nose suddenly filled again and he exploded once again in a fresh round of sneezing. "HEEEEEEETSHOOOOOOOOOOO! HUUUUUSSHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

These sneezes were so massive that they propelled him forward so that his arms were now in front of him for support, and his head and hair were hanging forwards as well. 

"CUT!" yelled Sheldon, figuring- reluctantly- that Byron had had enough. He turned to the photographer. "Mako, did you get all that?"

"Yes," said Mako "But what the hell are we gonna do with a roll of film with nothing but sneezes on them?"

"Well," Sheldon replied, "if my plan works, we'll see. Go develop the film, and I'll meet with you then."

Four- Getting it Sorted

An hour later Sheldon and Mako were meeting in Mako's dark room. 

"Fantastic!" said Mako. "I've never seen any pictures so… so… so exquisite!"

"They are brilliant!" answered Sheldon. "You're a genius, Mako! Only you could have taken pictures of this calibre!"

"But all I did was take pictures of some sneezing hunk! Now what are we going to do with them? How will these sell the 'ADAYNO HUNK' line of men's underwear?"

"You'll see" said Sheldon. "I want to use these pics..." 

The pictures were phenomenal. They sent sales of 'ADYANO HUNK' clothing into the stratosphere! The first photo that Sheldon selected was one of Byron at the EXACT moment when he felt the faintest tickle of the first sneeze coming on. Byron was laying on his right side, staring at some nonexistent object. The photo caught him just as his nostril began to twitch, the exact moment that he began to take in a large breath of air.

The second photo used was the one where Byron was leaning back on his arms for support. It was snapped again at the exact moment his nose began to tickle with another sneeze. His mouth was barely opening and his perfect chest just beginning to expand. To the average observer, no one could tell that Byron was about to sneeze in these pictures. All one could sense was a sense of angst. It was a sense of exquisite beauty being somehow tortured by something all too human, something anyone as stunning as Byron should never feel. 

Some people have said that Byron was so exquisite that he should be encased in glass. These photos, it was said, showed the essence of that beauty. The immortality of stunning beauty, and the all too mortal reality of life- encapsulated by a sneeze.

It was perfect.

Five- Getting it Wrong

Meanwhile, Andres was going out of his mind with jealousy. He had been hearing rumours about the 'Adayno Hunk' (a.k.a. Byron) being in love with Sheldon. 

He had confronted Sheldon about it and was reassured that there was no truth to the rumors. 

"Oh sure, Byron and I are friends, Andres, but I love you. Byron just thinks that he loves me because of our close proximity at work. I'll set him straight as soon as the shoot is over." 

Somehow Andres couldn't believe it. He had to see for himself. He devised a plan where he would sneak into the studios of McTate and Mann and watch Sheldon at a day's work with Byron. Only then could he put his mind at ease about Sheldon's fidelity. 

The next morning Andres arrived an hour before anyone else. He had decided to disguise himself as one of the 'Adayno Hunk' models to fit in perfectly with everyone else. He wore only the barest of bikini briefs, and he had on a pair of Adayno Hunk sunglasses and a fake moustache, that a stylist friend of his had helped him attach. 

"Don't get that thing wet now," warned Jack, the stylist "I used a very gentle glue that wont hold too long if you get it wet. So don't have anything to drink while your wearing that moustache, okay?"

"Don't worry, Jack. All I want to do is see what I want to see and get out without being noticed. I'm not here for coffee and refreshments."

Andres was going to try to find Sheldon's office and look through his drawers for any signs that he and Byron were having an affair.

As he walked along the corridor in his floss thin bikini briefs, he bumped into Mako, the photographer. 

"Oh excuse me, please," said Andres. "I'm looking for Sheldon Anderson's office. I'm one of the backup models for Byron." 

"Two doors straight ahead" answered Mako, and then looked at him again. "You're BACKUP?" he screeched incredulously. "Damn! You're ten times hotter than Byron! You should be the star of these commercials."

Soon- feeling slightly better- Andres found Sheldon's office and quickly began going through his desk. Just then he heard Sheldon and someone coming down the hall toward the office.

Andres quickly jumped into a closet in the office, which held odd bits of costumes and makeup that Mako used for his shoots. Andres hid himself behind some old bits of clothes with fluffy, feathery collars. Above him on a narrow shelf were tins of makeup and face powders. Andres left the door ajar so that he could see out into Sheldon's office while he was hidden in such a way behind the frilly fluff that he was out of sight to anyone who was not looking directly for him. 

"Who would be looking for me in here?" Andres thought smugly to himself. 

Just then Sheldon entered his office followed by Byron. Byron was wearing a pair of blue Chardon jeans for that day's shoot. All Byron had to do during the shoot was wiggle his ass seductively, and say one line "I beg your Chardon!" He was then to wink into the camera, and that would be the day's shoot. 

"I can't do it, Sheldon!" Byron complained. 

"Why not," asked Sheldon, obviously exasperated.

"These jeans are far too tight for me! One false move and I'll split them down the middle!"

"But you must wear those Byron! After all you're our 'Adayno Hunk'. You're the one who sets the standard against which all men try to measure themselves." 

"Okay, Sheldon, I'll wear them for you. Do you think I set the standard for masculine perfection, Sheldon? Hmm?" With that question, Byron started to snuggle up next to Sheldon. "You know, Sheldon, you've never answered me when I told you that I love you. Do you love me, Sheldon? I want to try to make you happy. Come with me back to Sweden. We can live together there."

On hearing these words Andres became so enraged that he started shaking and knocked over a tin of powder that had been on the narrow ledge above him. It landed softly on the fluffy bits of clothes so as to make no sound, but a cloud of the powder soon arose and began spreading all over the closet. Some of it began escaping out of the closet into Sheldon's office.

"What's this?" thought Andres as he began to smell the powder. "OH NO!" He sniffed gently, as it was already in his nose and working its magic on him. He sniffed again. "I MUST NOT SNEEZE!" thought Andres to himself. "If I sneeze, I'll blow my hiding place." He quickly pinched his nose shut and held his hand there hoping against hope that he wouldn't sneeze. The tickle was fairly strong, but the pinching of his nostrils seemed to be holding the tickle right were it was. 

"Do you love me Sheldon?" Byron again asked. 

"Byron, I do love you, but as a friend. Hopefully you'll consider us very good friends, but I don't love you the way you want me to love you. I'm in love with a man named Andres, Byron. He's the only man I can ever truly love. He's the man I've waited my whole life for. I don't want to ruin that. So I'm sorry Byron, I can't love you the way you want me to love you. If I had met you two years ago I'd be on the next plane to Stockholm with you. But now my life is with Andres. You see, Andres is my life."

"This Andres is a lucky man, Sheldon. He must be very special indeed to have won your love. I envy him," said Byron. 

Andres was so elated on hearing Sheldon's words that he forgot his tickling nose and released the grip. Immediately the tickle began growing bigger. "Huuh… HUUUH…" gasped Andres as he grasped his nose shut again to ward off the tickle. 

Just then Byron began noticing the growing scent of the powder in Sheldon's office. "Sniff...Do you smell something Sheldon?" asked Byron. 

"Sniff… yes I do," answered Sheldon. 

"Smells so… sniff… tickly," said Byron, as he gently rubbed his finger under his reddening nose. "I thi- think it's- SNIFF- coming from the closet."

With that, he went over to the closet to see what was wrong. 

Andres stiffened in fear, but fortunately Byron's eyes were too runny by now to see Andres hiding in the closet, But Andres could see Byron standing there. Byron was about to sneeze! He stood there, shirtless, in the too tight 'Chardon' jeans, and Andres had his first look at Byron. What a sight it was too! Byron's chiselled chest was expanding with each breath full of air he took in preparation of the sneeze. His head reared back, his soft brown hair falling against his shoulders. Andres stood there with his own nose tightly clasped shut, lest he sneeze and be discovered by Sheldon. He watched helplessly as the tickle in Byron's nose drove him forward in a huge fit of lusty, wet sneezes. 


Andres stood there clasping his nose tightly shut as Byron's sneeze-mist landed on Andres in the skimpy bikini. His perfect body began to glisten. It was a glorious sight. Andres the Latino god's body was glistening wet from the sneezy mist of Byron- the Swedish god. 

Just then, the powder began to get to Sheldon too. "Sniff… Oh boy! My nose is really beginning to tickle me too, Byron… Huuh…HUUUUH!" 

Andres stood there in the closet and he heard Sheldon began to pant as his sneeze was building. Andres began to get super aroused. "I'm feeling the same thing in my nose right now as Sheldon is," Andres thought, getting a raging erection. His throbbing cock began to stand straight up out of the skimpy bikini he was wearing. Just then, his own tickling nose began to tremble again.


"I must hold in my sneeze," thought Andres as he pushed the sunglasses back up his trembling nose as they had begun to slide off. 


Andres was dying! He was so excited to be feeling a sneeze in his nose at the same time Sheldon was feeling one in his. He couldn't take it any longer! His cock was on the verge of exploding, as was his nose. He didn't want to come; he desperately wanted to make love to Sheldon. He pinched his nose tighter.


Andres' glorious nose could stand it no longer.


He sneezed out, which caused the closet he was in to rock. Sheldon and Byron ran to the closet to see who was in there. Just as Sheldon looked in he saw Andres sneeze his next sneeze.


This sneeze dislodged the fake moustache he was wearing, leaving it dangling on his lip. 

"TISSSHHHOOOOOOO!" He sneezed again, this one blowing the sunglasses off his perfect, tickling nose. 


"Andres! What are you doing here?" demanded Sheldon 

"Sniff… aren't you going to say 'bless you' to me, baby?" Andres tried to joke after his sneezes had betrayed him. 

"Bless you nothing! You were spying on me! How could you Andres? How could you? How can I ever trust you again? I thought you loved me! Is this all you think of me?"

Six- Getting it Right

"NO!" Byron cried, as he jumped into the scene. "This is the most touching display of love that I've ever seen. Don't you see, Sheldon, he trusts you, he doesn't trust me. It was me he was spying on, not you. Don't be mad at him Sheldon. If anything, be mad at me. I tried to steal you for my own. Please forgive me. And Sheldon, if you don't forgive Andres, you'll never be able to live with yourself ever again."

"That's the truth" Sheldon admitted. 

"So do you forgive me?" begged Andres. 

"Well, I guess so," answered Sheldon. "I damn sure love you too much to be too angry at you." He put his arms around Andres' shoulders and began kissing him. 

Just then, Andres' perfect nose suddenly reddened from the ticklish aftermath of the powder and feathers- and partly out of relief. "HAAAAA HAA… HAAAAAAAAAAAACHOOOOO!" 

Andres sneezed his massive sneeze over Sheldon's shoulder, covering his shoulder and back with his sneeze mist. 

Sheldon groaned contentedly, and gently kissed Andres' red nose. "And you call me a nut!" Sheldon said, and kissed him again.